Read This When You’re Being Too Hard On Yourself

Woman laying down in a field of snow alone
Roksolana Zasiadko / Unsplash

You’re not sure what to do because it feels like everything you do is wrong. Constantly critiquing yourself, it’s become routine to feel like a failure. You’re in this weird reality where you’ve forgotten the importance of being kind and compassionate to yourself. Judgment has raised its voice and you’ve listened.

When you talk, you feel stupid. When you do something you’ve done a million times, it’s suddenly not right. The very things that sparked electricity in your brain are now your biggest burdens. You’ve taken the joy out of what makes you happy because you’re too preoccupied with being hard on yourself. Constantly comparing. Never enough. Your personality feels dented and your character weakened. Self-esteem is nowhere to be found.

This all-consuming weight of negativity and pressure is working your brain into knots. No wonder it feels impossible to overcome self-doubt and move forward. Your thoughts keep confirming you’re not enough and it’s tempting to believe them.

Things already aren’t going the way you want them to, and you think beating yourself is going to make that any better? You need to be on your own side. Not against yourself. How can you expect yourself to succeed while you’re diminishing your value?

Being hard on yourself doesn’t feel like a choice. But it is. You consciously make daily decisions in your mind. When you judge yourself and suddenly five minutes go by and the rolls on your stomach just doubled or your intelligence somehow grew dimmer, it’s up to you to refocus your attention. Don’t put up with exhausting your energy on harmfully humiliating yourself in front of the person who matters most – you.

Every day you live according to agreements you’ve made. The day doesn’t just happen. You may have to respond to life, but life also responds to you. Don’t make an agreement with yourself that you’ll be positive without fail because that’s unattainable and will leave you in a never-ending cycle of putting yourself down. Instead, simply make an agreement to be aware of your thoughts. Bring awareness to the unnecessary pain you cause yourself and instead of using it as another excuse to beat yourself up, use it as fuel for positive change.

Make a pact to get out of your own head and cut yourself some slack. Life is challenging and the fact that you’re hanging in there is impressive. Do not underestimate that.

You’re capable. But you don’t believe that when you’re too hard on yourself. Because when the phrase ‘not good enough’ reverberates off your skull and echoes in your mind, you operate your existence at a much lower bar than normal. Your potential feels light years away because instead of growing, you’re focused on the flaws that reiterate everything is wrong.

It’s okay to feel this way right now, but don’t let the feeling of inadequacy steal your thunder. Put your foot down and recognize that torturing yourself with cruel, limiting thoughts is not the way to move forward. Own the fact that you’ve been treating yourself unfairly and you deserve more. Just because you have a record of being hard on yourself, doesn’t mean it has to continue.

Remember these things: Nobody is perfect. You can only do your best. And your best may waver from day to day. That’s completely normal. There is nothing wrong with you.

Place your left hand on your belly and your right hand over your heart and take a deep breath. Let go of your expectations. Release your preconceived ideas. Loosen your grip on the past. Take a moment to give your mind a break and reflect on the simple fact that you are alive and you are here. And even if today or yesterday or the past month or year sucked, right now is a new moment.

Allow the opportunity to forgive and accept yourself. Recognize that while your imagination is confirming everything is wrong, your reality wants you to succeed. Retaliate when the repetition of negative internal thoughts penetrate your disposition. It’s time to honor your intelligence and your strength. The ability to truly value yourself is stronger than any doubt.

You’re resilient. Never forget that. TC mark

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