My whole life I have been laughed at when I just suggest that I can be friends with an ex and when I do people always assume that I have lost my mind.
I see it all over the Internet “12 reasons why you can’t be friends with your ex” and numerous articles about why it’s just not okay.
Of course the possibility of being friends depends on what kind of people you are and how the relationship ended and maybe something that takes time. But is it possible? Yes!
And here’s why it can be a beautiful friendship.
1. Losing a boyfriend doesn’t mean you have to lose your best friend.
You have spent years developing this relationship and put so much effort, time and love into it. Both of you. Why just throw it away? Unless the relationship ended up horribly then both of you should have a sense of respect and love for each other that I believe is worth keeping.
I have previously gone out with guys and thought “they’d make a great friend” and no I didn’t friend zone them I actually dated them and then friend-zoned them. Because they have amazing qualities but we just weren’t meant for each other.
2. They know you inside out.
You know when sometimes you just want to talk to someone and you think “dammit only my ex would understand I wish I could speak to him”. Well if that ex is a friend then it’s okay for you to ask for their opinion or share something.
They know the psycho inside you and the sweet loving person. They have probably gone through so many of your life event with you. They know exactly what gets on your nerves (since they did it a few times) and what puts a smile on your face.
They watched you become this beautiful strong woman/ macho man and will have a sense of appreciation for who you are now.
3. They’ll be there for you because they care.
Not the “I want to marry you” kind of caring but both of you do. Look at Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. They are still really good friends to this day and there for each other. Or George Clooney who’s the godfather of his ex’s daughter Mariella Frostup. Unless you have given each other a reason to hate each other. Then they’ll be someone you can rely on to give you genuine advice, to be a shoulder you can cry on or someone to just have a laugh with when you need it the most.
Is it hard? Yes. It doesn’t happen over night takes months, having time apart but it’s worth it and possible. No human being is disposable to me unless they are a horrible negative person. And if that’s who your ex is then you have yourself to blame for going out with them in the first place… Just sayin’.
I think part of growing up is accepting things and I accept that my exes are not meant to be my lovers anymore but I still appreciate each and every one of them as they have made me the person I am today and given me wonderful memories.