Men Actually Say ‘I Love You’ First (And Other Relationship Facts You Might Not Know)

couple, relationships, relationship facts
Kaci Baum

Being a human is so damn interesting. From the way we fall in love with one another, to how we express ourselves, to the silly intricacies of our minds – we are fascinating.

Recently, I stumbled across this relationship research that got me thinking. We can pretty much all admit to having a sort of ‘plan’ or ‘road map,’ if you will, for our relationships. There’s this hidden set of rules about when it’s acceptable to say ‘I love you,’ or go without makeup, or fart. (Lol).

But according to this research, collected and compiled by Mattress Online of 1,000 British adults:

1. Men are twice as likely to declare love after just one week.

Okay, I’ll admit that this surprised me. I’ve always been the heart-on-my-sleeve type of woman. But to find out that it’s actually the men in this survey who were twice as likely to confess their emotions?! That’s honestly so refreshing. (Though I’m a little concerned about the one week time frame – regardless of the sex).

Mattress Online

2. One in three women would rather chill than ‘Netflix and Chill.’

Okay, so this one is very relevant to me having written this piece, “I Am Not A ‘Netflix And Chill’ Kind Of Girl” from 2015.

I can believe this – the fact that women actually want to hangout over hookup. But guys not wanting to just cuddle and binge-watch TV until at least the first year??! Ah. Now that’s a big difference in viewpoints.

3. Men are more comfortable revealing their real selves after six months.

Hm. This one made me think. I feel like guys get comfortable early on (aka with the bodily functions…hehe, just poking fun here!) But what surprised me about both sexes was the length of time to get comfortable: men, six months; women, at least one year. That’s a really long time to be hiding your true self or holding in your farts!

Is the whole, feeling-comfortable-enough-to-rock-my-ugly-sweats a sign of true love? Or is it getting way too comfortable? (Still up for debate.)

Mattress Online

4. Talk of the future is preferably delayed for one to two years.

This fact makes me curious. In the rush of today’s world, I would honestly assume that this time frame would be shorter. I can list a number of people who I know and love that have gotten married in a shorter amount of time (and no judgment, here! Just observations!) But for people to not even have that talk until 1-2 years in? That seems like a really long time to wait to see if you have the same viewpoints on these bigger, lifelong decisions/topics.

I think one of the biggest problems with relationships is that we’re not always on the same page (or that we’re planning future chapters before we’ve even written the first!) Humans are such intricate beings, and when it comes to love and joining ourselves with someone else, it’s complicated.

But, as this research shows, and as we’re continually learning about one another – the best way to build a relationship is to be honest, communicate (our likes/desires/perspectives), and most importantly, be ourselves.

Even if that means ugly sweaters, no makeup, and farts. TC mark

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

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