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You Can’t Hurry Healing

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girl looking up at blinds, healing, you can't rush healing, on healing, healing from heartbreak, heartbreak, pain
God & Man

Your healing does not have a timeline.

You’re not supposed to be over him or her by a certain day. You’re not expected to wake up one morning and never think of them again. You’re human. And there will be days when all that runs through your mind is memories. Followed by days where you don’t even flinch at the mention of their name. Weeks will pass. There will be an achy hole in the center of your chest. You’ll dissolve under its weight. You’ll ignore it. You’ll patch it with people, with laughter, with nights staying up late watching t.v. alone. Months will pass. You’ll be comfortable sitting at restaurants, at coffee shops without wishing for their body next to you. You’ll find peace at putting aside the necklace he bought you, the shirt she found at that fleet market that fit so perfectly. You’ll wonder where they are—but out of nostalgia, not regret.

You’ll still have little things that remind you of their smell, their kiss their touch. It’s okay to think about them, for a moment, for a while. Some days you’ll get wrapped up in what used to be. You’ll flip through photos of the two of you, arm-in-arm. You’ll let your mind wander, let it hurt all over again. Maybe you’ll drive by their place, or the old spots where you used to picnic and lay under the stars. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll journal everything in a tattered old notebook and then rip out the pages and burn them. Maybe you’ll cry. Maybe, through your tears, you’ll smile because everything has become what it was meant to. And you’re finally learning to let go.

Time will flit by, each day becoming less and less long and painful, each moment suddenly breathing joy. You won’t continually be reminded of their absence. Maybe there’s a presence within yourself that fills the room. Maybe there’s someone else’s presence, someone else’s arms around your shoulders, making you feel at home. You will tell this new soul the stories of who you used to love. You will look fondly at old messages then finally have the strength to delete them. You will store the trinkets and gifts and notes in a box under your bed. And it will collect dust as you happily walk in a new direction.

You cannot rush the reconstruction of a heart.

This will take time. You’re not expected to become something beautiful right away. Even when they leave you have a whole heart, but you don’t always feel its fullness. Sometimes when you lose love, you forget.

Healing is the process of re-remembering who you’ve been.
And you can’t hurry that. TC mark

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & producer. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

Poetry That Will Empower and Inspire You

Salt Water, the new poetry collection by Brianna Wiest, is a must-have book on your journey to healing. Grab a cup of tea and let these essential, purifying prose calm your mind and filter out the noise.

Salt Water is a slow deep breath, in and out. It sits in a new genre of poetry, somewhere between artistic self-expression and candid self-help. It is a meditation on acceptance, growth, and what it means to be human. Salt Water is the note you wrote to yourself years ago, which you find again when you most need it, that reminds you ‘it’s going to be okay.’”
—Lee Crutchley, Author of “How To Be Happy, Or At Least Less Sad”

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Read more books in 2018…

Cut yourself some slack. One of the biggest regrets most people have about their 20s is that they didn’t enjoy them more. And I’m not talking about “buy more expensive dinners, take another trip to Thailand” type of enjoyment. I mean having the ability to take a deep breath and sip coffee in the morning knowing that you have done, and are doing, your best.

“These essays are slowly changing my life, as the title promises. As my friends’ birthday come along, they will all be receiving a copy of this wonderful book.” – Janie

Amazon: 4.8/5 stars
Goodreads: 4.29/5 stars

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