‘Emotional’ Is Not A Negative Label

girl at the beach, happy, being emotional, emotional people, emotional is beautiful
Leo Hildago

The world wants to tell you you’re ‘too much.’ When you fall a little too quickly, when you let someone else in, when you pick your tired body from the floor and start looking for love in a new place, people will raise their eyebrows. They will furrow their foreheads. They will tell you that you’re doing it all wrong—that you should be guarded, careful, stoic, cold—not so willing to share your heart again.

For some reason we’ve been taught that emotions are bad. That we should bury them. That when we have them, we have to hide them from the world. When a child cries, he or she is hushed. When someone screams for joy, they’re told to settle down. When we or our loved ones are hurt, when something terrible happens, when a person passes, we’re encouraged to quickly wipe our tears and not cause too much of a scene. God forbid we actually feel something.

And the same is for relationships. Half the time it’s a game—don’t let her in, don’t tell him the truth, don’t share too much of yourself so soon. There are rules. There is caution tape. There are expectations and fears and so many ways to push people away or keep them at arm’s length.

At the end of the day, we’re so busy hiding what we truly feel, it’s a wonder we haven’t lost the ability to feel at all.

We’re so damn scared of getting hurt, of releasing control, of finding out someone isn’t ‘right’ for us or that we’re not ‘right’ for them. But most of all, we’re terrified of not finding love at all—and yet, we aren’t honest with the beating of our hearts.

We reach out to people, but then let go. We share parts of our stories, but not the entirety of who we are. We chase connections but let them dissolve out of nervousness. And we let the world tell us we’re ‘emotional,’ as if that’s a bad thing.

But being ‘emotional’ is not a negative label. To feel, to connect, to love deeply—that’s beautiful—and nothing to be ashamed of.

When it comes to relationships, we’ve been told that being the one who falls first is embarrassing. That having strong feelings is something to not do because it scares people away. That being a guy, a girl with a big heart is foolish. That love should be calculated, planned, and taken with careful steps.

But love isn’t like that.

Love isn’t something you can map out or understand. It’s not something you can control or calculate, shape to fit what you desire. Love simply happens. And you have to let it. You have to feel it.

You can’t spend your days being guarded, not allowing your heart to experience what it longs to. You can’t walk around being afraid to have emotions, care for people, share your soul. Sure, you’re going to have people who say you’re being ‘too much,’ or that you’re over-emotional.

But having feelings, caring about people, loving wildly and without fear—that’s not a bad thing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

Keep up with Marisa on Instagram, Twitter, Amazon and marisadonnelly.com

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