11 Non-Negotiables To Set For Yourself This Year

girl with ice cream, strong girl, non-negotiables, new year, non-negotiables for the new year
João Silas

1. No longer will I settle for being half-loved.

No more ‘almost-relationships,’ ‘things,’ or temporary connections. Instead of falling into people who disregard your feelings, leave you hanging, ignore your texts, or cancel plans with you, put your energy and heart into those who are truly invested.

2. No longer will I stay in a relationship (platonic or romantic) that makes me feel unworthy.

You are too beautiful, too special, too unique, and too valued to be with someone who does not see these traits in you. Life is fleeting—don’t waste time in a relationship that doesn’t inspire you, strengthen you, or make you feel alive. Whether it’s romantic, platonic, a friendship or even family connection, know that you are worth more than abuse, pain, or mistreatment.

3. No longer will I let myself be ruled by everyone else’s voice instead of my own.

This year, promise to listen to the sound of your own voice. Do not worry so much about what other people think about you, or their opinion of your decisions and choices. Instead, focus on what you truly feel in your heart, and follow that inner truth wildly.

4. No longer will I accept less than what I deserve—in any way this statement can be applied.

Maybe a relationship, maybe a job, maybe this is simply something you’ve been ‘putting up with’ for the sake of making life easier. No more. You do not need to accept anything less than brilliant, passionate love and the opportunities you rightfully deserve.

5. No longer will I surround myself with people who only bring negativity.

Promise to surround yourself with smiles, with encouragement, with talk that brings you and others up instead of down. Give yourself distance from the toxic people who only wish to drag you with them.

6. No longer will I put forth all my effort into someone who doesn’t reciprocate in the slightest.

This year, evaluate where your energy is going, acknowledge where it is not being returned, and pull away from people and things that drain you. You don’t have to feel bad about focusing on what you need, or putting effort into the people who are actually genuine.

7. No longer will I settle for a job/environment where I don’t feel inspired.

Maybe this relates to your work, to your apartment or house, to the town or city where you reside—however this applies to you—this year, stop settling for less. You don’t have to belong to something/somewhere simply because you have in the past. Pursue the places and opportunities and jobs that make you feel motivated.

8. No longer will I make excuses for why I can’t have, or reach, or gain something I long for.

This is the year of no excuses. Stop telling yourself you are unfit to chase your dreams, unworthy of the love you wish for, undeserving of something truly good. You are the only one who can carve the path for your life—think in a positive direction.

9. No longer will I feel inadequate or doubt my strength.

This year, acknowledge your incredible strength. See all the moments where you found your wings, where you pushed through, where you overcame obstacles you didn’t think you would. Instead of feeling inadequate or living in self-doubt, empower yourself with self-love.

10. No longer will I live in fear of what I can’t control.

You are not meant to have it all figured out, to know exactly where you will go or what will happen next, to have all the answers. This year, release your grip on the unknown and celebrate the freedom of letting life happen.

11. No longer will I let my defeat, or mistakes of the past define where I go.

This is a New Year, your year. Don’t cling to what was, or what pushed you down. Instead, lift your head, your eyes, your spirit and look forward to what beautiful things will be. TC mark

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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