1. Waiting for him/her to make the first move.
Instead of going with how you feel, instead of reaching out because you feel compelled, instead of expressing your emotions towards the person you’re interested in, you’re holding yourself back. You’re waiting for him or her to make the first move, to send the first text, to initiate the plans. And you’re actually coming off disinterested.
2. Thinking too much.
You think yourself around every question: “What should I say? What does he/she really mean?” Instead of responding organically, naturally, you’re confounding every conversation. And this makes you seem calculated and removed rather than genuine and real.
3. Focusing on the negatives.
Instead of enjoying the moment, you’re worrying whether or not this person’s really into you. Instead of laughing and being yourself, you’re trying to live up to this image of perfection. Instead of having fun, you’re looking down the road and worrying over things that haven’t even happened yet. And you’re stifling the potential of what could be.
4. Holding yourself back.
Subconsciously, you’re letting your head do the convincing. Instead of being guided by your heart, you’re letting your mind slow you down, make you hesitate, and keep you cautious. And you’re not really expressing yourself or developing something meaningful.
5. Not speaking your mind.
When your head is in control, the rational side of you is preventing you from expressing your thoughts—whether those be happy, emotion-filled thoughts or thoughts of fear or frustration. And when you let your head overrule your heart, you’re not getting to know the other person on a deep level. You’re being surfacey.
6. Being too cynical.
Your head knows that love is irrational. Your head knows that love makes you foolish sometimes. Your head knows that despite all warning signs, you still might fall completely in. And so your head pushes away anything positive. Your head tells you that it won’t work out, that the other person doesn’t care, that there’s nothing there. And when you let your mind control your heart, you’re making yourself lonely.
7. Guarding your heart.
Your mind reminds you of all the times you’ve been hurt before, all the lies you’ve encountered, the people who have loved and left. Your mind tells you things you don’t want to hear—that you could get hurt, that love is dangerous. And when you allow your mind to guide your heart, you allow yourself to be guarded and closed off from people who could really care for you.