You Are Not Weak For Forgiving Him

Elijah Henderson
Elijah Henderson

I know what the world says—Get revenge. Hate him. Turn your back. Be bitter. Be cold. Be strong.

But sweet girl, true strength isn’t found in being angry. It’s not found in turning your back on love and shutting people out. It’s not found in letting the hurt coat your heart like a layer of ice. It’s not found in hating him, in hating men, in having so much hate that you can’t remember who you used to be.

True strength is found in letting go. It’s found in putting the past behind you and starting anew. It’s learning that you cannot control what others do, or say, or how they will hurt you. But you can control how you choose to respond.

And you can choose to forgive. You can choose to say goodbye to both him, and to pain. You can choose to build yourself up from broken pieces and begin again, even more beautiful and powerful than before.

I know he has destroyed your sense of self-worth. I know he has made you question who you are and the love you deserve. I know he has messed with your mind, so much so, that you’re afraid to raise your voice.

But I want you to know something—he doesn’t own you, he doesn’t control you, he doesn’t get to decide who you are and who you will become unless you let him.

So don’t let him.

Don’t let him cause you fear love. Don’t let him make you bitter. Don’t let what he did to you change how you view relationships, men, and love. Don’t let this past pain build the road for your future. Don’t let your heart be closed off to the love you truly deserve.

You have the power, now, to move on. You have the power to silence him, to leave him in the past, to walk confidently forward. You have the power to forgive, sweet girl.

And I know the world will tell you to be angry; the world will tell you that being bitter and hating him will satisfy the ache in your heart. It might, temporarily, but when it’s late at night and you’re staring at the stars, wishing for him back, anger can only get you so far. Forgiveness will heal you.

And forgiving him? That’s not weak. Forgiving him is the strongest thing you can do.

Forgiving him sets you free. Forgiving him lets the past go and brings you forward to new love, new relationships, new opportunities, new happiness. Forgiving heals your heart. Forgiving shows you that the world is good.

Forgiving means no more brokenness. Because you are not broken. You are strong.

So hold your head high. Don’t listen to the world that cautions you, that yells at you, that misadvises you, encouraging you to hold onto this pain and carry it with you like a bag of bricks.

You don’t need those bricks. You don’t need that pain. You don’t need that broken heart. You don’t need him.

Let it all go.

Don’t be afraid to start anew, to trust, to let another man in. Not every man will hurt you like he did. Not every relationship will end like this past one. And you won’t always be the girl with the broken heart.

One day, you’ll look back at all this and realize it only made you stronger.
One day, you’ll look back and see forgiving him was empowering yourself.
One day, you’ll look back at this moment and not blink an eye.

You are happy now.
You are confident now.
You are free. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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