This Is How You Kiss A Strong Woman


First, start slow.

She smiles and you get lost in her eyes. You’re scared, because you know she’s a strong woman and that intimidates you a little bit, even though you’ll never admit it. She’s nervous too, but she won’t tell you. She masks this shyness by looking down at the floor or biting her lip. She’s kissed other men before, but you, you are different. She’s taken down her walls for you; she wants to let you in. And you know this; you know she doesn’t just give her heart to anyone, so you don’t want to mess this up.

She wants you to make the first move—not because she’s weak, but because she’s strong enough to know that she shouldn’t have to be the one in charge at every moment. And she wants to know you’ll match her strength, and lean into her first. She doesn’t want you to be quick. She wants to savor the moment—two people connecting in love and energy.

Then, kiss with passion.

If it’s just one kiss, make it the best kiss you’ve ever shared. Lean into her, put your hands on her cheeks, pull her to you, make her feel safe and breathless. See, this women is strong-willed, but she wants to feel secure in your embrace. She wants to know she can always fight her own battles, but she doesn’t have to fight them alone when she’s with you.

Kiss her softly, kiss her wildly, kiss her with everything you have. Let her know what she’s been missing, and searching for all this time.

And when you’re finished, hold her.

Not in the way you’d hold a baby or small animal, not in the way you’d hug your mother or friend. Bring her to your chest and hold her like she’s both precious and powerful, like she’s both delicate and tough. Like she’s something you’d like to keep, but would love to set free and watch soar into the clouds.

Run your fingers through her hair, whisper something honest and soothing into her ear, squeeze her into a bear hug and make her laugh, then gently pull her closer to you and hug her as if the hardest thing in the world is to let her go. She wants to feel wanted.

Don’t always kiss her lips.

Sometimes her forehead, when she’s stressed and talking too fast or when it’s late and she’s half-asleep in your arms. Sometimes her cheek, when you meet her and her friends for drinks, or when you’re driving home and pause at a stoplight—a simple touch of your lips to let her know you’re there and not leaving. Sometimes her hands, when her heart hurts and tears pour endlessly. She struggles showing weakness sometimes, but in your kiss, show her that she’s strong, even at her lowest.

Sometimes her shoulders, when she’s bent over the computer typing, or cleaning the dishes, or folding laundry and you sneak up behind her and surprise her with your love before standing beside her and falling into small talk as you help. Little kisses, like these, are sometimes the most intimate.

Promise to kiss her with intention.

Not as an obligation. And not because you want something from her, but because you simply can’t survive without tasting the softness of her lips. When you kiss her, kiss to tell her something. Kiss to tell her how much she means to you, how much you admire her strength, how you’ve never felt the way you do right now, your tongue tangled with hers.

This is how you kiss a strong woman—you kiss with everything you have. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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