6 Things You Shouldn’t Feel Bad About Expecting In Your Relationships

I'm Priscilla
I’m Priscilla

1. Respect

This is non-negotiable. If your partner cares about you, he/she will treat you with respect. That means a basic understanding and appreciation for your values and beliefs, even if he/she doesn’t always agree. That means letting you have your voice and stand your ground. That means treating you as a human being and honoring you in all decisions. That means accepting what you think, what you say, and whether you say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to something without question.

2. Communication

For relationships to work, I mean really work, people need to talk to one another. That means you shouldn’t feel bad about expecting your significant other to talk to you, to be honest with you, and to tell you what’s on his/her mind. It’s okay to expect your S.O. to express emotions or to let you know if something’s wrong or he/she’s upset. It’s okay to expect communication and openness. Some people are better at this than others, but for a relationship to function at the most basic level, there has to be open lines of communication. And asking that of your S.O. is perfectly okay, and healthy.

3. A text back

It’s 2017. Enough with the texting games. Enough with the ‘I’ll wait for him/her to text me first.’ Enough with the ‘I’m going to wait a day to respond’ crap. Here’s the basic truth: If you like someone, you let them know. If you’re upset, you inform the other person. If something’s on your mind, you reveal it. And if someone texts you, you text them back. End of subject.

It’s time to stop settling for people that don’t treat you right. If you’re dating/talking to/sleeping with/having a ‘thing’ with/in a relationship with/in love with someone, you can (and should) expect them to text you back within a reasonable time. Don’t stay with the person that doesn’t have the decency to respond to your messages. You deserve better than that.

4. Time

When you’re with someone, the most valuable thing they can give you is their time. That means undivided, uninterrupted, quality time. And it’s time you stop apologizing for asking this of your S.O. You should be with someone who wants to spend time with you, someone who doesn’t need to be on his/her phone throughout your entire date, someone who values the moments spent with you. And you need to quit feeling bad about asking someone to put aside their interruptions and busy schedules and make some time for just the two of you.

5. Attention

It’s time to stop apologizing for being ‘needy’ or ‘clingy.’ It’s time to stop feeling bad about asking for your boyfriend/girlfriend to pay attention to you, to listen to you, or to be involved in your life. Bottom line: if someone cares about you, they will show you they do. And if you find you’re with someone who seems uninterested in you, or only focused on their selfish desires, you need to get out. Stop feeling sorry for asking your S.O. for his/her attention. This doesn’t make you needy; this makes you human.

6. Love

Okay, duh. But hear me out. When you’re with someone, you should feel loved. All the time. Love isn’t something you earn, or something that fades when you mess up. You should always feel love from your person—not always perfect love, because we are all imperfect people—but genuine care, support, and kindness.

Stop settling for relationships that don’t fill you, inspire you, grow you, and make you shine. Stop settling for people that don’t treat you the way you should be treated. Stop feeling like you are demanding too much, asking too much, expecting too much. You’re not. You just haven’t found the right one yet. TC mark

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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