
1. Trying too hard.
Listen, you donât need to make him/her fall for you on the first date. That whole âlove at first sightâ thing is super cute, but letâs be honest, itâs not very realistic. Donât feel the need to impress your date with all the random facts you know. Donât feel the need to be suuuuper flirty when you still donât really know each other. Donât feel the need to toss your hair over your shoulder dramatically or flash your most expensive wallet when reaching for the check. First of all, when youâre trying too hard, itâs totally obvious. And second of all, it makes things uncomfortable. Dates are awkward enoughâthereâs no reason for you to be over-the-top. Trust me, the right person will like you for you. So take a deep breath, smile, and be a normal human.
2. Being someone youâre not.
This and trying too hard to hand-in-hand. Itâs one thing to try too hard, itâs another to try to be something youâre not. That in come in many formsâwearing clothes you donât normally wear, rocking your BFFâs heels just to look taller and more presentable, taking her out to the most expensive restaurant in town, the list goes on. When you meet someone, you want them to like you. That makes total sense. But how are they going to like YOU if youâre acting like someone else or trying to fit into someone elseâs shoes (literally or metaphorically)?? The answer is: theyâre not. Either theyâre going to think youâre super fake, or theyâre going to start liking this façade you put up, and then youâre totally screwed because youâre not even that personâŚso, just donât do it. Be yourself. Your weird, fun, funky, strange self.
3. Getting too excited too soon.
I get it. You went on a date and it was awesome. Maybe it was the first one in a while, maybe it was the first good one in a while. Whatever your situation, youâre pumped and canât wait to see him/her again. So you start calling, texting, borderline harassing this person about the next time you get to spend some time with them. NO NO NO. DONâT DO IT. Itâs one thing to show a person youâre interestedâaka, âI had an awesome time last night, let me know what your weekend looks like, Iâd love to see you again.â Or something along those lines. Itâs totallyyyy another thing to start texting them non-stop, asking them to hangout with you. Not only do you sound a littttlllleee desperate, but itâs going to be a total turnoff. Itâs okay, even great, to be excited. Just tone it down a little, until you can see how that personâs feeling or if theyâre into you in the same way.
4. Sharing too much.
Do not. I repeat. Do not. Share. Everything. About. Your. Life. On. The. First. Date.
Getting to know someone is awesome, but thatâs not just something you do in one night. Sure, you can talk to your date about something important, real, or deepâbut donât overload them with your entire life story the first time you meet. Take time to get to know each other. Donât be too guarded, but allow yourself and this person to take things slow. Slow is good.
5. Not texting him/her back.
If you are into him/her, by all means, let that person know. Not too crazily (refeer to #3) but please, please, please let your date know you had a good time if you had a good time. Thereâs no reason to be confusing.
6. Waiting for him/her to make the first move.
I donât care who you areâlifeâs too short to wait for other people to make the first move all the time. You like her? Call her up and ask her out again. You had an awesome time with him? Text him telling him and see if heâs busy this weekend. Thereâs no reason to hold back (within reason, see #3) how youâre feeling about someone. Enough with the weird, millennial confusion and avoidance. Lifeâs too short for all that nonsense. Go. For. It.
7. Overthinking.
Stop. Just stop. Thereâs no reason to replay the date 139234 times in your head. If he/she doesnât return your texts or calls, maybe they werenât feeling it for whatever reason. Donât beat yourself up. Get back out there.
8. Putting people on pedestals.
Weâre all imperfect. Donât put yourself or your date on a pedestal. Theyâre not your entire world, and should never be. Plus, being up so high freaks people out, not to mention throws off the relationship balance. Donât glorify peopleâtreat them like humans and enjoy them for the awesome humans they are.
9. Settling for crappy dates.
If you werenât feeling it after the first few dates, thereâs no reason to continue. You wonât magically start falling for him/her, and you canât really change your mind or heart, as much as you might want to. Sometimes people just arenât compatible. And this is okay. Not cutting someone off when you know itâs not going to work not only hurts them, but hurts your chances at finding something real, too.
10. Not communicating.
When you donât tell people how you feel or whatâs on your mind, you canât expect them to understand or for anything to change. So simple, but so real.
11. Not being honest.
This goes back to being your true selfâbe honest about everything. If you donât like Mexican food, then donât agree to going out to eat there. If you arenât looking for something serious, then by all means, DO NOT LEAD SOMEONE ON. Be upfront. Be honest. Be truthful. Be a good person.
12. Being too hesitant.
You canât be afraid of dating. You canât be afraid to talk to someone, to ask them out, to text them, to lean across the table when you really, really want to kiss them. Stop being so afraid of every little thing and enjoy the moment. You donât always have to drive with both feet on the brakes.
13. Not actually dating enough.
Maybe youâve been nervous. Maybe you didnât feel ready. Maybe you are one of those people whoâd rather complain about their singleness than actually do something proactive (Hint hint.) Wherever you fall on the scale, this is your year to do something different. Without expectations. Go out and meet people. Maybe youâll find the one, maybe you wonât. But youâll never find love if you donât actually go out on some dates! Live a little.