Thought Catalog

This Is How You Compliment A Strong Woman

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Verne Ho
Verne Ho

Talk about her eyes.

How they show determination. How they can pierce through your most guarded exterior, or soothe you when your mind is conflicted. Talk about their fierceness. Talk about their kindness. Talk about how those eyes are a window to her soul, how they tell her story, how they share so much about who she is with a single look. Talk about the color, the brightness, the power. Talk about how those eyes empower you, fascinate you, and make you want to learn more.

Mention her smile.

Tell her that it is not her looks that make her beautiful, but her smile. The way it brightens even the darkest of rooms, or how it unconsciously makes a grin spread across your own face. Talk about how that smile can change the direction of a conversation, can make an angry heart lose its bitterness, can make something broken feel whole again. Tell her how that smile drew you in; tell her how it was that smile, most of all, that showed her strength.

Tell her you love the way she carries herself.

See, for a strong woman it is never about beauty. It is never about her exterior, her physical self, or her looks. It is about the way she stands, about the way she presents herself, about how she walks and speaks and interacts with others around her. Tell her you love the way she stands tall. Tell her you love how she walks with her shoulders back and her head high. Tell her you love that she is self-assured and confident, never cocky, but always classy and poised. Tell her you love the woman she is, because she is proud of her.

Admire her sass.

She is level-headed and opinionated. She is vocal and perseverant. She speaks with boldness, and she is sometimes sassy. Admire this. Tell her you love the way she doesn’t back down when she knows she’s right. Tell her that you love the little crease in her forehead she gets when she’s fighting fiercely for someone/something she loves. Tell her you admire her resilience, the way she doesn’t let herself get walked over, and how she speaks up for what she believes. Tell her that you love her sass because it makes her, her.

Tell her that she is strong.

Mentally. Physically. She is empowered by her ability to be her own person and to be able to take care of herself, and you recognizing that is important. Tell her that you admire how she has gotten through tough times in her life and still managed to keep her head high. Tell her that you love her physical strength, how she pushes herself and sets her own goals. Tell her that you admire all that she is and stands for. Let her know that her strength in no way intimidates, or outshines yours. Let her know that you can be strong together.

Appreciate her independence.

She has built a life based on her own sense of self. She can do things on her own. She can manage herself well. She doesn’t need someone to take care of her, but of course she might want that, at least a little. Recognize this. Recognize her passion for being her own person. Recognize that she loves to be on her own, to do her own thing, and to sometimes be selfish with her time and attention. Tell her that you love this about her. Tell her that you admire her ability to be independent. And remind her that you want to take care of her, too.

Admire her mind.

Her best characteristic is her strong mind. She is guided by both her heart and head, but it is the way she thinks that is the most powerful thing about her. She thinks more deeply than most—tell her you love this. Tell her you love unfolding all the layers spinning around in her head. Tell her that she’s not wrong for overthinking. Tell her you love the way her mind works; that you find her brain the most attractive thing about her.

Tell her you love her passion.

Her passion is beautiful. She is wildly passionate about the things and people she loves. She is emotional and in tune with those emotions. She has no fears about being herself, expressing herself, or giving love. Show her that you love this about her. Show her that you see her passion, and you are willing to give that same passion in return. Show her that you admire her big heart and strong mind. Love her in spite of the fact that she may be too much at times. Love her because she might be too much sometimes. Love her because she is a deep-thinking, emotional, good-hearted, strong woman. And show her that she should never be ashamed of that. TC mark

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & producer. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

Somewhere on a Highway

A stretch of highway in Colorado
dips behind the clouds and does not
distinguish between asphalt and sky.
I turn off the music, turn off the lights,
drive slowly in silence
the stars
my only guide.

“Several of these poems touched me. I am a big Mary Oliver fan and have several of her books on my shelf and maybe a half dozen by other poets and Marisa Donnelly’s book is going on that shelf of keepers, on poetry books that I re-read and refer to…that inspire me to make a piece of art or share with a friend.” —Kathy Duffy

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Poetry that will change you

This is for the women who are first to get naked, howl at the moon and jump into the sea. This is for the women who seek relentless joy; the ones who know how to laugh with their whole souls. The women who speak to strangers because they have no fear in their hearts. This is for the women who drink coffee at midnight and wine in the morning, and dare you to question it. This is for the women who throw down what they love, and don’t waste time following society’s pressures to exist behind a white picket fence. The women who create wildly, unbalanced, ferociously and in a blur at times. This — is for you.

“When Janne has a new poem written, I shut my life down to do nothing but read it, and then when I turn my life back on, everything is better.” — James Altucher

You’ve never read poetry like this before

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