Loving You Is Easy, So Why Do I Make This So Hard?

Yoann Boyer
Yoann Boyer

You’re a wonderful guy. Sometimes treading the line so close to perfect it scares me. You know how to treat a woman—how to make her laugh, how to hold her as she falls asleep, what to say when she’s feeling overwhelmed, how to show her that you’re there, and not going anywhere.

You made things easy, right from the start.

You showed me that opening up to someone didn’t have to be so frightening, that going on dates and spending hours just talking and sharing exactly what’s on my mind didn’t have to be so difficult. I could simply trust you. I could simply talk to you. And know that you were truly listening.

Sometimes I think we complicate love. We worry too much about the future, about what could potentially happen, and in doing so, we keep ourselves stiff and guarded. We’re worried about getting our hearts broken, so we fake indifference. We’re nervous about people’s intentions, so we hold back and keep everyone at arm’s length.

We make love out to be this hard, confusing thing. And it’s true that in some ways relationships can be difficult to navigate, but the act of loving—of giving someone your heart and happiness—that’s actually easier than we think.

To love, to be selfless, to say, ‘This is my heart and I’m giving it to you,’—that’s actually easy. That’s opening and letting someone in. That’s in our human nature, and it’s beautiful.

But instead of allowing love to be easy, we make it hard. We tell ourselves lies, or we measure our current situations with those of the past. We stay removed. And think that we’re being safe that way. That we’re being cautious. When really we’re just missing out on what could be.

And that’s where I’m at with you, hesitant and guarded.

You make my heart jump, you make me happy, you make me want to believe in all the possibilities, but I’m scared.

I’m making things more difficult than they need to be, telling myself that I need to hold back instead of jumping in, giving myself a pep talk every time I’m around you, a warning that if I give too much I’ll end up empty. But that’s not true. And it’s no way to live.

I know in my heart that love is easy. It’s simply giving into another person. It’s moving forward without questioning, and believing the best in people and that they mean what they say. It’s about being selfless, about showing someone the insides of your heart and taking down those damn walls that are hiding you from the rest of the world.

Love is about vulnerability and taking chances and not worrying about whether or not they’ll pan out, but enjoying the beautiful journey without fear.

Love is seeing this incredible man standing before me and knowing that worrying will get me nowhere. Love doesn’t have to be so hard. I don’t have to be so stiff with you.

I can love you like you’re loving me—fully, deeply, and without holding back.

So I’ve decided to jump, to give in, to trust.
And I know you’re standing there, ready to catch me. TC mark

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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