It’s already beginning. The innocent glances. The way a soft blush creeps up my cheeks when you look at me. The text messages that blink across my screen and make my heart jump, just for a second. The calm I feel when you look into my eyes and the corners of your mouth turn into a smile.
I’ve already started to enjoy this feeling—the anticipation, the excitement, the nervous-happiness that can only be described as butterflies, and only understood when you feel them fluttering around your stomach.
Maybe it’s a little early, but I’ve already started falling for you.
You had to have known what you were doing when you smiled at me like that. When you left me cute little notes on the counter. When you asked my favorite food just to surprise me with it later. When you told me you cared, even though it might be a little too early to care that much. You won me over right there, just so you know.
It was the way you treated everyone around you, like they mattered, like they were important, like speaking to them was the most riveting part of your day. It was the way you smiled, and smiled at me, like I was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.
It was the way you were passionate, about everything, and then suddenly about me.
It was everything about you, really. And suddenly I couldn’t stop my heart from quickening its beat, couldn’t stop my mind from thinking about you, couldn’t stop my fingers from writing you line after line.
I’m falling. I’m falling. I’m falling.
And it’s terrifying. It’s terrifying to know that these feelings are filling up inside me, and that you might not feel the same way in return. It’s terrifying that I could mess this whole thing up, that we could take a chance and end up ruining whatever it is we have right now. I have to ask myself if it’s worth it, but I’ve never been good at holding back.
And how could it ever not be worth it, especially with you?
So I want you to know something—this is my true heart—as scared as I am to fall for you, it’s happening. And I’m letting it happen. So please, don’t pull away when you feel me getting closer. Don’t drift as I lean into you. Don’t run when you see I’m coming towards you, when you see my heart is reaching out, and welcoming you in.
Please catch me if I fall, fall for you, fall into you. Please promise you’ll be there, and that you’ll meet me halfway, too.
Please don’t be afraid of me, of us, of this, whatever ‘this’ could be. It may be too soon and too sudden and a flurry of emotion, but the most beautiful things often are. So please, lean into me, and let go.