Don’t Ever Be Sorry For Being The Girl Who Cares Too Much

Natalie Allen
Natalie Allen

You will always be too much or too little of something. Too outgoing, too bright, too quiet, too shy, too much. When I was in middle school, I stumbled across a quote by Danielle Laporte and it was absolutely perfect: “If you round out your edges, you lose your edge.”

And that line is so simple, but so true.

Someone will always want you to be a smidge different. There will always be a person who likes you when you’re just a little more outgoing or a little more reserved. You will be encouraged to change, to shift, to mold, to adapt. And the world will tell you that once you do that tiny little thing differently, you’ll be better. You’ll be perfect.

But the older I get, the more I’ve realized that perfect is boring.

And being you, and all the ways you’re too little or too much—that brings color to your life.

Maybe you’re the girl that texts first, who overanalyzes every message before sending, wanting it to say exactly what’s on her mind. Maybe you find yourself falling in love too easily, or giving your heart away like it’s a pin attached to the edge of your sweater sleeve. Maybe you’re the girl who has feelings for the boy who’s unsure, and you find yourself reading quote after quote about love, wondering if you’ll ever truly find it.

Maybe you’re the girl that stays up late, just to make sure her friends get home safe, or who spends hours listening to someone pour their heart out, even though she’s dead-tired and has a laundry list of things to get done.

Maybe you’re the girl who has always cared too much, putting everyone else’s heart before her own. And maybe, for once, you need to stop apologizing for that.

You’re always going to be too little or too much of something. And in your case, you care too much. But why are we told that’s a bad thing? Why are we so convinced that being ‘too much’ is negative? Because it’s vulnerable? Because it’s strong? Because it’s incredibly brave and rare in this world where we’re all too damn afraid to be our true selves?

In a world that’s always trying to change you, you don’t have to be sorry for who you are.

You don’t have to be sorry for texting first, for calling when you haven’t heard from him and want to make sure he’s safe, for being the girl that jumps all in, and seeks real love in return. You don’t have to apologize for writing love poems or buying him little gifts for no reason at all. You don’t have to apologize for all the things you do because you can’t help it. Just because you care.

You don’t have to be sorry for loving him just a little bit more, because that’s how your heart is, sweet girl. It doesn’t know how to love with any less than all of it.

And there’s nothing wrong with being the girl with feelings, the girl with a heart, the girl that thinks about others and values her relationships. There’s nothing wrong with being the girl that lets people in, that allows herself to be open and honest, that gives and gives and gives, even when people don’t deserve it.

In this world of half-love and fear of commitments, in this world of ‘just talking’ and having a ‘thing’ rather than dating, in this world of people skirting around their emotions—you are perfectly enough.

And it’s time you stop being ashamed of your big heart.
And it’s time you stopped apologizing for giving a damn.

Because the world needs more brave, beautiful souls like you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Marisa Donnelly

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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