I’m not good at holding back, never have been.
I’ve always been the girl with a voice, the girl who writes, the girl with words and feelings spilling out of her who can’t possibly control them or keep them hidden and under the surface.
I’ve always lived a little too loudly.
I can’t help but feel things, can’t help but let my emotions fill the empty spaces between me and the people I meet, can’t help my love cover over every surface, everything, everyone I meet.
I can’t help but be myself, my too-big, too-much self.
But growing up has taught me one thing—that the world will always try to tell you that you’re a little too much. The world will take one look at you, and find all the things it wants you to change. The world won’t always smile at you with favor. But it doesn’t matter what the world thinks.
So here we are, young and in love, trying to navigate our next steps without a clue of where we’re headed. We’re silly. We’re stumbling. We’re unsure, but we’re trusting in ourselves and in each other. And I know we’ll be just fine.
But baby, I just want one thing—I want our love to be loud.
I want our love to pour through us, pour over us, overflow and fill the hearts of every person we interact with. I want our love to be silly, to be crazy, to be big and bold and beautiful and everything that the world is not.
I want our love to smile at strangers. I want our love to shine when we hold hands and walk down the street. I want us to laugh without caring. I want us to kiss and not hold back.
I want us to be as we are—two happy humans living unfiltered. Not worrying if our love is too much, if we are too loud, if we fit the mold of a millennial couple. I don’t care about anything like that.
Let’s throw expectations out the window. Let’s blow the world away with just how beautiful, how intense we can be.
I want our love to be loud. I want it to be fierce. I want it to be passionate. I want it to be anything but mundane and ho-hum and familiar. I want it to challenge us. I want it to ignite us. I want it to fill us in ways that only a real, dynamic, deep love can.
I want to look at you and know that you’re real, know that who you’re showing me is you, behind all the layers. I want you to be you, and to know that I love you, for you. And I always will.
I want to look at you and know that you’re loving me, the real me, the too-much, too-many-emotions me. And I want to know that you’re not leaving.
I don’t want a timid love, a shy love, a love that doesn’t speak, doesn’t shout, doesn’t reach out and fill the spaces between us. Life is, and always has been, too short for a love that doesn’t break every expectation.
And I want us to be bold, bright, brilliant.