Dear Men, Your Confidence Is Everything


You may not have it together. You may not live in your dream apartment, have the best-paying job, or the greatest body. You might have eaten cold pizza for breakfast three times this week, have a roommate who smells, or a dog who sheds too much. You might have a track record of broken relationships or a crazy ex who still hangs around.

You might have a million and one reasons why you’re imperfect.
But trust me, your confidence is everything.

You are flawed. But guess what? So is every woman you meet, every girl you kiss, every lady you fall in love with. We’re all a little messed up. What matters is how you carry yourself.

It doesn’t matter if you come from humble beginnings, if you’re a big-city boy or a small-town kid. It doesn’t matter if you have tons of money or none at all. It doesn’t matter if you’re shy or been hurt or are scared to love again.

What matters is how you show yourself to the world, how you present yourself to a potential lover, and how you walk with your head held high.

We all come from broken places, from haunted pasts, from insecurities and fears. We all have things that we try to hide or things about us that, well, frankly just suck.

But if you want to find someone who will love you for you, you have to start by being confident.

You have to start by accepting those imperfect things about yourself and not being afraid to be who you are in spite of them. You have to start by not worrying so much about what people will think of you, and instead, show them what makes you unique.

You have to stop thinking that a girl won’t love you for you because she will, if you show her who that ‘you’ truly is.

Confidence is everything. A confident man is a self-assured man, is a man that is secure in who he is, is a man that knows what he wants, is a man that knows how to love.

And trust me, women want that.

No, you don’t need to parade all your strengths out for the world to see—we’ll see those naturally. Confidence isn’t cockiness. But confidence is smiling because you have a good smile. It’s walking upright because you’re a good man. It’s laughing because you’re imperfect and that’s okay.

Confidence is opening yourself to love because you deserve to find love. And a girl deserves to find you.

So please, stop worrying about all the ways you don’t measure up, all the things you don’t have, or all that you didn’t do right. When you point those things out to us, you’re telling us that’s what we need to focus on, and it isn’t.

What we should focus on, what we need to focus on, is what an incredible man you are, despite your imperfections. Because we’re just as imperfect.

And imperfect love is good love, trust me. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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