We’re at a crossroads now, a turning point, a shift that has pulled our lives in two separate directions and I’m standing here, on the edge of the cliff, looking at the incredible ways down.
I’m scared. I’ll admit it.
I feel the chasm between us growing, pulling us farther and farther away, and I’m powerless to stop it.
We used to be so close, so consistent.
Loving you was late night phone calls, shopping trips, long car rides, and deep talks for hours, our feet up on the kitchen table, a plate of cookies between us, and the sounds of summer blowing through the open windows.
I’ve always loved you more like family.
You were the one who stood by me in every situation where I felt small. You encouraged me in my faith, but taught me to always challenge it. You shook me when I was being stupid, helped me to laugh until I was unafraid.
And you always knew what I needed before I did, and you were never afraid to tell me.
I miss your honesty, like a bruise in my side, but a bruise I couldn’t help but touch. A reminder of what I’d pushed through, and what I would continue to fight against.
I miss your laugh, and how you always found something to smile about.
I miss the way you’d get fired up over the smallest things, the little drama, and the way we’d talk about it over drinks on the front porch.
I always believed that friendship is resilient. That in the changes, we would still find comfort on one another’s shoulders.
Maybe I was wrong to think that in our separate lives, we would find common ground. But I know one thing—I’m never giving up on us.
Friendship to me, is like love, but perhaps even deeper.
You love someone emotionally. You love them with your mind. You love them with your being.
You fit them into your life, into the spaces, into the cracks that they somehow glue together again. I don’t care how long it’s been since I’ve heard your voice on the other line of the telephone or how many texts you haven’t yet responded to. I don’t care what part of the world you’re living in, or if you don’t want to see my face anymore.
All I care about is at the end of the day, you know that you’ll still be a part of my soul.
So I’m not leaving. I’m staying right here, fighting to keep us close and reminding you of how far we’ve traveled. You will always matter to me, always be the ground I stand on, always be the light that guides me through.
And I’ll forever be that for you, in whatever journey you take.
Even if it’s a journey that leads you away from me.
And even if we’re miles apart, even if there are eons of thoughts and memories between us—I always will be. This I promise.