What’s coming next.
You can’t spend your time and energy analyzing the next move, the next thought, even the next date. You can’t plan out what he or she will do, or how you will react to it. And if you think too much about this, you won’t be able to react naturally. You won’t be true to yourself, and instead, you’ll be caught in overthinking, so much so that you’ll be paralyzed by your own thoughts and fears.
Let go. Let things happen as they will.
What he or she thinks.
This can be solved by simply asking. By simply trusting that what this person tells you is actually how they feel. No, we can’t read minds. And as much as we pretend this would be so wonderful and would make life so much easier, we can acknowledge, in the darkest corners of our brains, that knowing every little thing would be absolutely terrible.
No, we don’t know what our significant other is thinking. But that is the beauty of love—we get to discover this.
If you’re doing the right thing.
Try to be the best person you can. Try to love wholly, fully, fearlessly. Love in such a way that all doubt clears your mind, and even if a tiny doubt sneaks up, you know that you’ve given all you could.
How you compare to the past loves.
You are not the past loves. You will never be the past loves. You will never have their quirks and inconsistencies, their terrible attributes, or even the wonderful memories that your person and him/her shared. You can’t be them, but this is good. Because they’re past loves.
Because no one has the answers to that sort of thing. We fall into each other at different times, and that’s something you can’t rush, can’t plan for. Whether you’re moving from a flirting stage to a dating stage, from dating to commitments, from commitments to something even more serious, you can’t worry about what’s coming next, about where you’ll go, about if you’ll make it.
No, you can’t be naïve to what’s coming. And of course you need to think whether or not you can love this person long-term, but you can’t spend your time agonizing over a future that isn’t even on the horizon yet.
Slow down. Breathe. Stop trying to plan something that can’t be planned.