1. Some type of chronic pain that includes, but is not limited to the hips, shins, heels, or lower back.
Yep, this is the nagging, always happening, annoying AF type of pain that will creep up on you, no matter how long or how far you run. Shin splints, plantar fasciitis, hip bursitis—you name it, we probably have it. But no matter how it debilitates us, no matter how much ice and stretching and menthol patches and pain killers we consume, you’ll still see us lacing up our running shoes. We can’t help it.
2. The sweaty (and I mean sweaty) face.
Ah yes, the embarrassing, dripping, needs-a-sweat-band face. For some ungodly reason, humans have been graced with sweat glands. On our faces. Why? Why? Why? But us runners know that looking like we just came out of the shower is a part of life. So we embrace it. ”No, no, this is my natural glow.”
3. The 29710284 brands of shoes and each of them fitting and feeling completely different.
Okay, first of all there’s running, cross-training, walking, aerobic, tennis…and those are just the types. Then there’s brands. And design features, like ‘rocker soles’ or custom arch supports. And if that isn’t bad enough, they all fit and feel different. Some are super light, some are heavy, some are filled with this cushiony stuff and some just feel like there’s nothing there. So until we find the pair that fits and feels amazing, we’re usually all over the place with our shoe selection.
4. The good-days-bad-days and continual ups and downs.
Running isn’t easy. You might have an amazing three mile run on Monday, then cramp after two minutes on Tuesday. You could easily do a fifteen mile jog, but struggle through an interval sprint. It changes, almost continually. You’ll feel strong, then weak. Tired, then rejuvenated, then sore again. But it’s the ups and downs that keep you coming back, keep you motivated to get better every single day. (And yeah, you might be a little crazy.)
5. The crawling up shorts. No matter what you do.
On a treadmill, for a run around town, sh*t even on the elliptical—your gym shorts ride up. AKA continual wedgie. Unfortunately this is just a part of the runner’s life. Sucks to suck I guess.
6. Those uncomfortable, ’Actually I’d prefer to run alone’ conversations.
You have a pace, a rhythm, and a passion for running…alone. That doesn’t mean you can’t run with other people…you’d just prefer not to, like, 90% of the time…which, unfortunately makes you look like a b*tch. Oh well.
7. Always having to remove the soles of your shoes and replacing them with sole inserts.
If you’re an avid runner, chances are you’ve had some heel or arch pain. (It’s almost inevitable.) But…if you’re lucky (or I guess unlucky enough for it to be this serious) you’ve invested in one of those fancy sole inserts. And you now rock them in pretty much every pair of shoes you own…yes, including some heels.
8. The ‘No-I’m-not-an-a$$hole-I-just-don’t-want-to-be-interrupted’ awkward moments.
I don’t get it. If I have my headphones in, and I’m going at a pretty decent pace, WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH ME?! I mean seriously…don’t I look a little busy? Some people just don’t get it.
9. Having to explain, for the 20802375th time, that Yes, I actually enjoy this.
Yes, running is my passion. Yes, I run for fun. No, I’m not forced to do this. Jeeezzz. You think they’d get it the first time.