To The Woman Who Doesn’t Sleep Around, This Is For You


You don’t take guys home. You don’t go to the bars with intentions. You don’t Netflix and Chill. And you definitely don’t see sex as something casual.

You are a woman who doesn’t sleep around. This is how you’ve defined yourself. This is the legacy you lead and the strength you carry, even when it doesn’t feel like it. You are admired, just so you know.

You are the type of woman who sees sex as something beautiful, something special, maybe even something sacred. Sex, you believe, should be shared between you and select person(s). Maybe with a deep, unexplainable connection. Maybe with love. Maybe with marriage. Regardless, you hold yourself, and men, to a higher standard. You love deeply. You know what you deserve and don’t settle for anything less. And that makes you powerful.

You don’t find sex with multiple men liberating or empowering. And that is absofreakinglutely okay.

We live in a world where it’s okay to sleep around, okay to have sexual freedom, okay to have multiple partners. All these things are awesome for women—to have the ability, the choice, the control of our own bodies and decisions. But this isn’t for every single woman. You are a woman, a Feminist who stands for the purity of her own body. You don’t find sex with multiple men liberating or empowering. And that is absofreakinglutely okay.

You are not crazy. Not weird. Not a flirt, tease, prude, stuck-up, trying to be ‘better’ than anyone, or any other negative words the world wants to label you with. You are a woman who embraces her sexuality as much as any other woman. You are just selective about who you give your body to.

You’re going to face opposition. You’re going to meet women who will judge you and men who will chastise you. You will have days when you’re not sure if you’ll ever find your ‘right’ guy. (You will.) You’ll have moments when you’re challenged to hold to your beliefs, when you’ll question if you should change who you are and just be flippant with sex. But stay strong. There is a world of women out there, just like you. You are loved. You are not alone. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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