1. People often refer to you as ‘A English major’ and this makes you queasy (and sound super snooty when you correct them, Yes, I’m AN English major).
2. You are the go-to for any spelling question, no matter the time or place (for example, the middle of the bar as your BFF is mid-texting battle with her significant other and wants to sound intelligent.)
3. You have either used, or fallen for, a cheesy English-related pickup line, such as: “Charles Dickens might have given you Great Expectations, but I can meet them.”
4. Your most recent Google searches include at least one of the following: ‘synonym for,’ ‘how do you spell…’ or ‘good books to read’.
5. You think that the difference between, “Let’s eat grandpa.” And “Let’s eat, grandpa.” Is pretty damn funny.
6. You always text and tweet in grammatically correct, complete sentences.
7. You know the difference between there, their, and they’re.
8. If you dare spell something wrong or use the wrong tense on one of your social media pages, you better believe someone will call you out on it.
9. You know that ‘legitly’ is not a freaking word and it drives you absolutely crazy when someone tries to actually use it.
10. You are frequently asked pretty blunt (and slightly rude) questions about what you actually do with an English degree, or if you ‘actually like that writing stuff.’
11. Fighting via text takes a ridiculous amount of effort because you have to proofread before sending.
12. Your friends, family, and sometimes random acquaintances will hit you up for writing advice on the daily. Anything from work emails to cover letters. And they’ll all start with the line, “I know you’re busy, but you’re amazing at this stuff and if you have the time could you please please please help.” Or something similar to guilt you into it.
13. You are the resident proofreader for literally everything.
14. You always read the books before seeing the movies. And if you dare slip up, you feel like a traitor.
15. Sometimes you secretly like writing research papers. *Gasp*
16. You often feel extremely lonely because you want to share an awesome quote or poem you just read and no one gets what the hell you’re even talking about.
17. You hoard Post-it notes and use them for literally everything.
18. You (avidly) follow social media accounts related to writing and being an English major. And share them all over your page without regret.
19. Your Facebook friends tag you in anything and everything that relates to English, writing, or academia, from something serious to extremely weird puns.
20. You know a plethora of English jokes, for example, “How many letters are there in the alphabet? Twenty-four because E.T. went home.”
21. You still haven’t figured out when to use whoever/whomever…so you avoid those in your writing at all costs.
22. You often have some type of narration going on in your head.
23. You have either dabbled with creative writing, or are pretty decent at it.
24. People you know (and don’t know) will solicit you and offer you actual money for writing their papers.
25. You have probably worked in your college’s Writing Center or as an English tutor for a period of time.
26. You have this strong urge to explain to everyone you meet that your English major is used in the real world every single day.
27. You actually find joy in reading 300+ page books and complicated poems.
28. You now have a career in the education field, or at least considered it at one point.
29. You have a knack for finding grammatical errors in professional documents, magazines, books, etc. and it makes you go freaking nuts.
30. When it comes to sentimental writing, (anything from love letters to birthday cards), you’re the person everyone’s hunting down and asking for a step-by-step rundown of how to tell the most important people in their lives that they matter…via your words.
31. You could probably work anywhere with an English degree…but you’re the only one in your friend group who’s struggling to find a job.