Disclaimer: This is not meant to be slut-shamey or offensive. It’s meant to be light-hearted, humorous, and poking fun because hey, let’s face it, we’ve all been there, or had a best friend who was.
1. The Skimpy-Dress-Wearing Desperate Chick
This is the girl who doesn’t care about much else besides boys and booze. Her dress is a combination of glitter and lace. The too-tight, too-short contraption (and her entire persona) screams ‘I’m just here to makeout.’ And that’s about it. Where is she pre-countdown? Frantically scrolling through Tinder.
2. The “I Just Broke Up With My Boyfriend” Hot Mess
Whether he broke up with her, or she broke up with him—don’t ask. You don’t want to hear the teary, twenty minute play-by-play. You’ll find this friend hovering by the spiked punch, batting her eyelashes at the bartender, or in the bathroom reapplying her makeup since half of it is running down her cheeks.
3. The Proud Feminist
She’s the one guys want nothing to do with, but is probably the best countdown kiss option. She’s rocking the heels and black dress that is a perfect mix between sexy and conservative. Where is she? She has no time for you. She’s the one with the camera, taking pictures with the girls and having a great time ignoring the entire male species.
4. The Mom
She’s practical, and wearing low heels. Or at this point has probably taken them off and traded them for flats. She’s ditched her glass of champagne hours ago and is either in the corner flipping through her phone contacts or pushing her way through the crowd, trying to find her drunk friends. Her hair? By now it’s been pulled into a low ponytail or twisted bun at the base of her neck. She’s probably rocking pearls. And her eyebrows are definitely furrowed. She’s on a mission.
5. The “I’ll Just Be Kissing My Bottle” Long Distance Relationship Sufferer
She knows the drill. Another holiday apart from bae. She’s wearing something cute, but not too cute. She’s drinking vodka sodas—so she’s drunk, but not a mess. And you’ll probably find her by a window, or somewhere quiet so send Snapchat selfies. Where is she during countdown? Either Face Timing or pushing prospective NYE kisses away. That’s what besties and bottles of vodka are for, right?
6. The Closet Rave Girl
You don’t know where she is half the night because she’s front and center of the dance floor, eyeing the DJ and shaking her butt. When you do find her, she’s soaked head to toe in Smirnoff and sweat.
7. The Selfie Snapper
We all have that one conceited friend who cares more about the pregame pictures and Valencia-filtered Instagrams of the club than actually having a good time. She’s the one in the stilettos she can barely walk in, and the real diamond earrings. And she’s the one demanding bottle service and a limo instead of shots and an Uber. Where will you find her? Probably alone because everyone’s sick of her. But she’ll be too busy taking pouty-lip pics to notice.
8. The ‘Grounded’ Gal
This is the girl who probably rebelled a lot in high school and was a sorority chick in college. Her party days are dwindling. You’ll find her snuggled up on the couch at home with a bag of barbeque chips and a bottle of Pinot Noir. And probably a cat.
9. The “I’m Just Here For the Booze” Babe
She’s the undiagnosed alcoholic. You’ll lose her the second you get to the club and will find her the next morning, curled in a ball in the hallway outside of your hotel room, shoe-less and extremely hungover.
10. The Responsible Rebecca
She’s over the party scene and just wants a low-key gathering of friends in the comfort of her own home. She’s probably a good cook. Everybody likes her. And she’s in bed by 1AM.
11. The Party of Two
This is the girl that never, under any circumstances, leaves her boyfriend’s side. Regardless if it’s two months or six years, she and the beau are attached at the hip. They drink the same sh*tty beer, take bathroom trips together, heck, their clothes even match! Lost her? Well hopefully you know his number because her eyes, hands, and lips are too busy to answer your call.
12. The Lost Puppy
She’s not sure what to do. Either freshly twenty-one, or the type that doesn’t venture out much, she’s hovering around her friends, nervously checking her phone, and drinking a martini trying to ‘adult.’ All the while hoping no one’s looking.