When You Are Feeling Uncertain, It’s Actually A Sign Of Certainty

Photo by Marisa DeMarco
Photo by Marisa DeMarco

So often the uncertainty of life becomes a heavy weight that applies great pressure on our minds, bears forcefully on our shoulders, and leaves a deep pit in the stomach. All the fear of projecting into the future; the what ifs, when, and how become commonplace questions we ask ourselves and others who are willing to listen. With every question of doubt and insecurity we pose, many times we fabricate responses that are 99% out of the realm of the actual reality of a situation. It’s our thoughts that create a sense of high alert terror and fear paired with perhaps the need to seek opinions and advice from others that have their own baggage and view on how they navigate the world in which they live.

When we enter into a new relationship or have been married for 50+ years, love is a forever changing emotion and expression. It can be closely related to the shifting of daily light and shadow, passing clouds, and varied weather conditions. In short, what one has felt yesterday is different from today and will again be different tomorrow. Instead of seeing this with the eyes of fear, it can be seen as a sign of certainty. It’s the certainty that love like any other emotion, feeling, and interaction within oneself and in the presence of others is not permanent. Thank goodness that things don’t remain the same for we would all be stuck in a suspended period of time that would only breed stagnation.

When we begin a new school, university program, or job we are always working towards deadlines, having a sense of urgency to prove ourselves, and to receive positive feedback for our efforts. We may feel uncertain about what we’re studying, what our job description actually entails, and measuring if we’re achieving or failing based upon personal standards and standards of others. This is another moment of uncertainty taking hold of us when really it’s another opportunity to see its certainty. It’s being certain that if in fact we find the balance of applying ourselves—investment of time, effort, and taking the necessary steps to accomplish what is being asked of us, we can make peace with the fact that we’re giving it our personal best. It’s also the certainty of knowing that our personal best also varies day by day.

When we craft any type of interpersonal relationship whether it lasts for a lifetime or for a short period of time, we can never truly know how someone else is feeling and thinking because we truly don’t know what it is that we’re thinking and feeling. How can we expect that someone grants us fulsecurity and access to their person when we have yet to find security by accessing ourselves? It’s completely normal to have uncertainty in any type of personal exchange, but there’s the certainty that as humans we are all facing this beautiful anomaly of inter-connection together.

Instead of living in a place of fear, worry, and spiraling questions that may or may not have responses (even those that work in our favor), we can embrace the certainty that everything unfolds in the way it’s supposed to. Without a doubt we all have free will to make choices, but it’s the uncertainty what follows our choices that causes anxiety—until we start to see the outcome and results for better or for worse. For then we’re able to navigate them. And the certainty? For as long as we’re living, we’re always moving in a forward motion—which is a great comfort in itself. TC mark

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