Thought Catalog

This Is What Everyone Hears But No One Says

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Photo provided by Marisa DeMarco
Photo provided by Marisa DeMarco

It’s easier to keep up appearances from the simple greeting on the street, small talk over a coffee, and a quick check-in text message. By saying everything is fine without giving further details and engaging in deep conversation, the limit of what is revealed has already been set. Even if we come to know our significant other, family member, friend, colleague, or child on an intimate level with great care and invested interest, we can never truly know anybody 100% – I would even guess it’s not even at 50%. The reason for this is two-fold: 1) One doesn’t know his/herself in entirety. 2) As humans we have a certain guard up of self-protection at all times which in turn doesn’t allow others to have full access to us.

The most put together, self-assured, and poised person is feeling exactly what you and I both are feeling. The most insecure, indecisive, and anxious person is also feeling exactly what you and I are both feeling. On some level or another, the core of sentiments are felt by everyone — it’s just that circumstances, situations, nature, nature, and interpretation is what makes them uniquely beautiful, different, and curious to the beholder. With that being said, we all feel/have felt varying degrees of joy and suffering, love and hate, interest and disinterest, courage and fear. It’s up to us to give ourselves permission to express, emote, reflect, and demonstrate how much or how little we’re willing to accept our emotions for what they are and why they’re coming up to the surface at any given time. What may feel like paradise to one may feel like hell to another. The truth is there is no right or wrong way to perceive inner feelings — but it’s our minds and the minds of others that give way to infinite possibilities of misconstruing, misinterpreting, and contradicting them.

From the day we enter this world until the day we depart from it, we’re guided by what it is we both feel and think. We learn to either trust our intuition or silence it. We decide to either listen to the inner voice that either reveals our next steps or helps us determine if we should be running away in the other direction. And our biggest battle of all is that of the head and the heart. What everyone feels yet no one talks about is the intricacies and layers of self-constructed interior worlds. It’s up to the individual to outwardly project his/her image. By making the choice to be as sincere and honest with ourselves as we possibly can, this allows us to be that way in the presence of others. Or of course, we can operate on the contrary.

On a daily basis, we experience interior introspection that manifests in a reflection, battle, or discussion within ourselves. Yes, we may express our thoughts to others and ask them for help, feedback, guidance or perhaps they may just give it unsolicited, but it’s the inner monologues that everyone hears yet no one ever really talks about. We learn to exist through two states of being — one that’s guided by the ego (doubt) and one that’s guided by the soul (peace). Although the ego sets out to “protect us”, many times it’s exactly what sabotages us. When we actually learn to feel more than think, that’s when the inner voice calms, can be listened to with pleasure and ease rather than distrust and frustration. Furthermore, once both the head and the heart become aligned in unison, that’s when one finds true equilibrium and freedom to make choices and decisions without being insecure and fearful, but rather open and accepting for what is or what isn’t to come. TC mark

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