Why It’s Not Okay To Stay In A Bad Relationship

Photo by Marisa DeMarco
Photo by Marisa DeMarco

We live each day as if for certain there is a tomorrow or perhaps “x” amount years in front of us.

What we hope to accomplish today usually doesn’t come to pass in its entirety due to a busy agenda, procrastination, or perhaps indifference. All the hopes, intentions, and dreams we have in our hearts tend to be scheduled for an indefinite date in the future. We would like to believe that we have the power to make changes, follow our own “rules and standards”, and hold on tight to whatever liberty we have. But in turn, we are afraid to make a move, we conform to the opinions and ideas outside of our realm of thinking, and tend to relinquish our personal freedom and happiness by putting it in the hands of others…whether we realize it or not. A faith-based mind tells us to believe and pray in order to receive what it is we desire and need.

Although our prayers may be answered, it may not be in the way we would have hoped. An analytical mind tells us to see first and then believe later once we actually have the facts as proof.

Then there is the middle-of-the-road approach to thinking; through cautious optimism…being open to daily miracles along with keeping oneself grounded in current reality. There is no right or wrong way to perceive the world in which we live—both internally or externally. It’s about finding a method of thinking, seeing, and believing based upon individual needs and life experience while interacting within the collective consciousness as a whole.

One of life’s greatest teaching tools comes in the form of interpersonal relationships. Although we aren’t able to choose our family and colleagues per se, we can choose our life partners and friends. But within each connection that we maintain in our lives, we make choices. These include how much or how little 1.) we are able to give and receive 2.) we are open to love and being loved 3.) we are willing to make time, effort, and investment into another person. At the very core of all relationships is acceptance and respect for both parties involved. Relationships that come with ease, without condition, and with a general sense of security embody healthy growth and interaction.

However, if there is an imbalance within these two core principles and the relationship feels forced, strained, and depleting, there is some need for reflection and evaluation.

Many times we tend to put more effort, energy, and thought into those relationships that cause us more harm than good. We can plot, plan, and devise ways to change it (or change another to suit our needs). Yet if the other half is not on board to improve his/herself and the actual relationship, we’re fighting an uphill battle—most importantly with ourselves. Instead of wanting to manipulate what’s not working, why not take a step back and realize that without force and control we can actually receive some sort of comfort and outcome naturally? In turn, our next steps will actually be guided with ease rather than confusion. One of the most important things to remember is that we aren’t permanently here on earth—so what makes us think that the people and things in our lives are permanent, too? Every day there are changes that occur either on a small or large scale — it’s just a matter of time that we are aware of these changes. There are periods of our lives that may feel stagnant, hopeless, and outright cruel. Yet there are those periods that are blissful, calm, and fair.

What we can actually change is the company that we keep. The people that we allow to be a part of our most intimate circle and those who select us to be a part of theirs is truly a blessing. Simply said, if someone is causing us discomfort and unhappiness, then we can gracefully walk away. If someone is giving us the security and joy that we deserve, then we can stay. It doesn’t have to be any more complicated than it needs to be…and life will continue to march on in a forward motion. We will be better off for it as we walk its path with those who genuinely want well for us as we want for them. TC mark

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