What You Thought You Once Knew May Not Be What You Know Right Now

credit: Marisa DeMarco
credit: Marisa DeMarco

So many times we fall into the trap of declaration, ultimatums, and living in a world of absolutes that are either self-created or imposed on us by others. We may claim to never over eat again only to find ourselves devouring half of a chocolate cake. We may vow to never call that one person again who caused us the most harm, yet we do it anyway and only find ourselves worse after not receiving a reply. We may also pledge to ourselves to not behave in a certain way or to kick a bad habit, yet low and behold we fall back into old patterns. Guess what? We’re human. We’re bound to make errors, mistakes, missteps, and at times cause ourselves and others harm. But by becoming self-aware, kinder to, more patient, and forgiving of one’s self we begin to realize that what in fact we may be punishing and battling ourselves for is really all for nothing.

Daily growth and personal evolution happens actively or passively. This is not to say that one must accept how they are made and use that as an excuse to stay stagnant, stubborn, and uninspired. But it’s making a clarification that when we ease up on what we once have believed to be true about ourselves and others we actually create a sense of space for change, development, and exploration. We start to let go of pre-conceived, judgmental, and negative ways of thinking and instead begin to take the word and actions of ourselves and others on face value. Things that may have resonated twenty years ago or a day ago may no longer feel or be true today, tomorrow, or twenty years down the road. Really, who cares what the time line is? For the time line itself has no relevance.

Many times in my own life, I put time frames and a lot of pressure on myself to accomplish and achieve certain goals and desires of my heart and mind. The more I pushed myself to the point of over-manipulation and too much control, the more I felt suffocated by the process and in turn suffocated the rare few around me who saw this side of me. Those who accepted me stayed and those who didn’t dissolved. I too have had to make the same decision of staying close to a rare few who have done the same and making a conscious choice to walk away as they were putting unwarranted pressure on me as well. We have all been on both sides of the coin and with self-reflection and learning from past behaviors, have the choice to change and shift what once has caused harm into something that has no actual value to determine who we are, who we will become, along with the how and when.

Once we ease up and realize that there is a natural order of how life unfolds and progresses, we can unfold and progress harmoniously instead of being at odds with it. There are always going to be struggles, challenges, interpersonal relationships that may be more difficult than pleasant, along with times of self-doubt and second guessing. But there can actually be more times of acceptance, patience, compassion, paired with determination to navigate each day within the present.

What we may have once thought we knew is not we may know now…this is the exact beauty of waking up each morning. One never knows what awaits them for certain, yet each day is also a new opportunity for reset, a fresh start, and making the choice to proceed forward in a way that is helpful to one’s self and in turn to various individuals that are always bound to cross our paths—whether they be close to our hearts or absolute strangers. TC mark

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