This Is How You Stop Running Away And Choose To Stay The Course

credit: Marisa DeMarco
credit: Marisa DeMarco

There comes a point in our lives where we become so tired of running, hiding, avoiding, and perhaps even sabotaging ourselves and others based upon our past and current experiences that the only thing left to do is stop and stand still. It may happen to us by conscious choice and effort or an event or person may come into our path that places us in a new direction when we least expect it. Our free will lets us determine what we choose to do or not to do within our lives—whether it’s based upon the influence of others, circumstances, or introspection. Right and wrong doesn’t actually exist neither does better or worse—it’s how we choose to perceive it within our personal contexts and standards. Although may times our choices may in fact impact others as their choices impact us as well, ultimately this is what it means to be human. It’s an individual and collective experience lived through the discovery of balance.

Many times if we feel threatened, vulnerable, distrusting of others, or guarded our walls come up and we work so very hard to shield ourselves from what we believe to be “dangerous” or “harmful” to our well-being. Yet many times, we fear ourselves—our feelings, thoughts, and insecurities. It’s much easier to take on others’ problems, become buried with work and household responsibilities, along with closing ourselves off so it’s easier not to feel at all (so we think).

But with all of our best attempts to numb our thoughts, create diversions, jump from partner to partner, job to job, and location to location—one thing remains; the problems that follow us no matter where we’re running to or what we’re running from. Life is made between its ups and downs, beauty and pain, and its gains and losses. It’s chocked full of lessons and experiences that render us better or worse off from how to we choose to view them. By realizing that nothing is fixed, everything changes, and what we may feel and think one day doesn’t mean it’s going to be the same when we wake up or go to bed. Whatever the cause is of the running—into an unknown destination, it’s actually beneficial to stand still in the present—and face the actual here and now of the reality. It’s fear that propels us away from what may in fact be good for us even if it doesn’t appear that way. For example, a relationship that falls apart is in fact one that teaches us equally just as a relationship that thrives. They are simply different experiences. What has happened to us in the past doesn’t mean it’s going to follow us into the present and future—if in fact we deal with it, accept it, and heal it. Needless to say, there are always going to be scars left upon us, but there are also positive and indelible marks also imprinted on our being.

I have been a runner and a chaser both personally and professionally. I have experienced both flips of the coins based upon various relationships and situations in my life—just as we all have. I have come to learn that the best place to allow my feet to gently stride in a forward motion is that in the present. There is no longer a sense of running, but rather walking away when someone or something doesn’t feel right. There is no longer a sense of chasing, but rather walking towards someone or something that does feel right. Running and chasing are one in the same—just in two different directions. Walking away and walking towards function under the same principle, too. When one’s feet are steadily in place on the ground—whether it be still or shaky, that’s when we choose to the stay the course… TC mark

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