Living in the past of broken dreams, failures, mistakes, what ifs, would have, should have, and could have, along with feelings of guilt and shame whether inflicted by others or self-imposed is not doing you or anyone else connected to you justice. There are also those times of romanticism and comparisons of past lovers, jobs, residencies, and experiences that are held onto quite tightly—the “golden days”. Yes, there is truth and even gratitude that the past is what helps us grow, shift, change, and arrive to the point you have reached today—for better or for worse. But when you choose to live there, extending your roots further into ground of non-existent land, and replay and re-live memories that were either blissful or nightmarish times, you don’t free up space for the present. Furthermore, it could be rather depressing and make you feel stuck in another time that has already passed, yet you feel lost on how to navigate forward. Needless to say that everyone’s stories, life paths, and experiences are case by case sensitive and this also impacts the extent one can actively release, heal, and accept what once was, but isn’t anymore.
The same is true for the future. When you project, plan, plot, manipulate, envision, and control what should be, what it should look like according to your plan, and how it must come to pass, it’s asking for heightened expectations and at times great disappointment. This is not to say that it’s impossible or improbable to create and get exactly what it is that you want, but when dealing with both internal and external factors—life has something else in store. Living in the future with anticipation is what causes anxiety—of the unknown, uncertainty, and asks many questions that may or may not ever receive answers.
As humans, faith, hope, and love make life more gentle and pleasant when facing hardship, adversity, and great beauty. However, it’s a choice to live and believe as such or adhere to a method of cognition that is better well suited for your needs. Dreams, goals, and aspirations give you the will to achieve and motivate yourself and others. But if done with a level headed approach with flexibility, things can shape, form, and transform naturally and many times without much resistance.
When you make the conscious choice to stay in the present with appreciation for the past and hope for the future, an equilibrium forms and allows you to gracefully live, breathe, exist, and experience everyday life. There isn’t a grand need to manipulate yourself and others because you have an overall acceptance of the universe (or something bigger than you) that is guiding you yet you have self control and poise to make choices that resonate for yourself and the greater good involved. With self-awareness and confidence, the passing of each day becomes second nature without even questioning and perhaps realizing it’s moving forward in the way it should.
Certainly life happens—people get married, people break up, children are born, others pass away, a job promotion is gained while a job elsewhere is lost, what joy a day brings could change into dread the next. But with an even keeled rationale yet allowing yourself to feel, all can be handled in one way or another. All you need to remember is to be where your feet are; because being here right here and right now is exactly where you are meant to be.