If someone expresses and shares a pure moment of happiness, many times it’s often questioned or perhaps sabotaged by another’s sadness and jealously. The one who is living in joy often feels that they must protect themselves and their happiness out of guilt or simply wanting to avoid the negative words and reactions he/she might hear and feel in response. Remember that nothing should be taken personally and usually the issues that people have with others are problems that they actually have within themselves. Easier said than done, but there is a kernel of truth to this sentiment that can bring a lifetime of ease if one is mindful.
When one feels happy, he/she radiates an internal glow that’s reflected within the glimmer of their eyes and softness of their smile. There is a certain pep in their step, an openness, warmth, and feeling of ease and presence. When this excitement, enthusiasm, and transcendence of peace is noted it’s often met with a backhanded compliment, obvious rudeness, or disparagement. We have all been both the receiver of such treatment, but we have also been the one to deflate another, too. When we make peace with ourselves, those who we have chosen to maintain connections with, those who we’re further bound to (familial or collegial ties), and the situations in which we’re living, we allow ourselves to feel and be happy over extended periods of time. There is more clarity, insight, and problem solving without the clouded emotions of fear, despair, and perhaps despise.
By creating healthy barriers that protect our happiness from the harshness of others and the reality of the world in which we live, we value our self worth and do not allow anyone to infringe upon or harm us and our states of being. On the flipside, when we actively try to steal other people’s happiness and seek to control their life experiences and choices based upon what we want or believe is “correct” there are two serious issues. First of all, we absolutely do not have control over others or what they feel and think as it is only unique to them. Secondly, inward reflection is needed rather than projecting, hiding, and avoiding the true areas that need attention and healing.
Self-awareness is truly the key to happiness. When we realize that we are suffering, can no longer stay in a current relationship and/or situation because it is causing us and perhaps others in our life harm, and we feel like we’re living in a cage or run on an undercurrent of sadness, this is good. It’s indicating that something doesn’t resonate, change and internal work comes up for review, and action is needed to heal (if one chooses to do so). In our most natural state as humans, we thrive when we are content of heart and mind. It allows us to navigate even the most difficult and painful moments life presents because we have a reserve of strength and the knowledge that nothing is permanent and it will pass. We also know from life experience that in order to truly understand and appreciate the beauty life has to offer, we have lived/live our share of suffering that teaches us how to cope and survive.
But if we choose to live, love, and see ourselves with eyes that are gentle, forgiving, patient, and kind, this allows us in turn to see others the same—and have compassion for those who are so incredibly unhappy. But we wisely know that it’s not our direct problem nor is it our place to take it on. It also allows us to empathize and share in the joy of others and sincerely wanting well for them without malign.
Although happiness is often chased, thought upon condition, and is often strangled and held onto tightly, there is no need to fear it and control it. By letting it come naturally, shift, grow, and expand internally and externally, it surprises us in the most beautiful ways—without questioning it but rather accepting it. There is no reason to feel unworthy and fearful of it, but rather worthy and courageous to receive and live in it.