Romantic relationships allow for intimacy, secrets, unending support, and reciprocation of love. However, emotional baggage and perhaps areas of struggle in one’s life can overshadow the beauty of such a union if that’s what’s taking center stage. By finding the balance of sharing something but not everything, it allows for stability and individuality. But when in fact it’s time to emotionally release and let go of your inner most thoughts that only your true best friend will hold close to his/her chest as you will for them, this is when clarity and liberation is felt and navigated in the most honest and sincere ways.
1.) Professing your desire, lust, or love about the new person that you have an immense crush on, who you’re newly dating, or about your partner that you just can’t get enough of.
Do you think he likes me? When should I call her back without seeming too into her? I just want to…her! He can…me all night long! Exactly. These are things that should only be said to a trusted companion that will half laugh at you and also try his or her best to give you advice while letting you dream but manage to keep you grounded. Your friend will do his or her best by being the sounding board of such affection. This will prevent you from coming off as a “stage-five clinger” as described precisely in film, The Wedding Crashers, or as the protagonist straight out of a Jane Austen novel in the presence of the “romantic person” in question.
2.) Fears about failure.
Whether study or career based, a relationship on the rocks, questionable parenting skills, or not living up to parental or personal standards, it can get quite scary and isolating by letting anxiety take over. After bottling up self-doubt, insecurities, and internal turmoil, there will always be your one “go-to” person that you can confide in. Sometimes a conversation, an empathic or sympathetic ear, and a hug can go along way in alleviating fear and perhaps finding a possible solution. This is incredibly helpful to even highlight that you are certainly not alone and someone truly is your greatest cheerleader.
3.) Sharing secrets, gossip, and trash talking behind closed doors.
“That dinner party was ridiculous, never again! Next time, we’ll go out for sushi,” exclaimed my best friend, Matthew. This was after I spent over $200.00 dollars on food, a full day in the kitchen, and transforming my home into one of the Upper East Side’s best eateries. It wasn’t a criticism about me, but rather the company. Some of our friends decided to bring their friends—unannounced. After one too many drinks and personality conflicts amongst the guests, things just got bizarre. By the time it was over, Matthew and I couldn’t help but laugh and recount the details of the evening while having thirds of our dessert to ease the pain of an unbearable three hours.
4.) Reading each other’s mental diaries—through words, actions, facial expressions, and gestures.
Chances are you and your best friend have invested a great deal of time in each other’s company and by now can tell what the other is thinking or feeling by one quick glance of the eye. When two people become so deeply intertwined while conserving their individuality, there is this harmonious balance that occurs and you both feel understood and validated—without having to explain anything at all. You both just know.
5.) Being authentic, direct, and open without the fear of being judged while revealing innermost thoughts, dreams, and goals.
That big promotion that you’ve waited to obtain, being asked out on a date, asking for someone’s hand in marriage, realizing it’s time to end a relationship, wanting to move across country, deciding to buy a house, or leaving a job and starting a new career may be more agreeable on paper. However, they can bring forth a floodgate of attachment, change, and emotion. Without having the moral support paired with a relatively objective point of view, such decisions and desires could be difficult to obtain while working out the details within one’s own mind. A steady presence gives perspective and calm.
6.) Laughter and more laughter until one or even both of you cries, is doubled over in pain, or perhaps loses bladder control—which the latter will be promised to be taken to the grave.
No matter how silly, stupid, ridiculous, or outlandish the trigger to uncontrollable laughter is, it is even funnier when shared between the both of you. You get each other’s sense of humor and you know how to egg the other on—even during inappropriate times just because it makes it that much better. The old adage “laughter is the best medicine” has lots of truth to it—especially when you and your most treasured friend can share one of life’s best remedies together.