For something that means the “end-all-be-all” to someone could simply just be a blip on the radar for another. It’s all relative. Why is it that the things we desire and want most in our lives; especially if we have not yet obtained them, make us feel that nothing else matters? When somebody for example, is over-the-moon enamored with his/her new partner or crush, everything else becomes less significant except for that one “special” person that’s been granted the utmost importance. The same happens when we put all of our attention and energy into wanting to find that “special” person that will make us feel over-the-moon enamored. But then again, until it materializes, nothing else matters. In both cases, we are consumed and driving ourselves crazy by perpetuating these thoughts (on whatever end of the spectrum it falls) because it’s at the forefront of our minds.
But what if what really matters is right in front of and inside of you? That it is you that truly matters and nothing else should be ranked in higher importance. A friend once told me that the only way to live happily is to exercise “il sano egoismo” which translates from Italian to English as “healthy selfishness”. It was the first time I heard this expression and it left an indelible mark ever since. I asked him to elaborate on its significance. “It means that you must think about yourself and for yourself before you can think about and care for others,” he said. There was something so beautiful and freeing about this sentiment. I hadn’t fully comprehended it until only recently, when I decided to make the choice to start living it. We must remember to never underestimate our importance and place in this world. It’s our absolute right to be here and exist just as it is everyone else’s equal right to be here and exist, too. It’s also our absolute right to love, protect, nurture, and honor ourselves so we can continuously grow and expand individually and collectively as humans to the best of our abilities…if we so choose.
Undoubtedly love is shown, felt, and expressed in a multitude of ways. How it is demonstrated doesn’t matter. What’s important is that it’s given in return through the balance of reciprocation. Otherwise we must evaluate our respective situations and relationships to discover if we give and receive love and if there’s an overarching feeling of fulfillment or depletion. But the most meaningful question to ask one’s self is if/how self love is being given and received daily. Both today and always, nothing else truly does matter except the strength at which we love and value ourselves and in turn give and receive love through authentic exchanges with others.
Needless to say, life is full of instances that make us feel, act, speak, and do things that sometimes feels completely out of character and we surprise ourselves in ways that make us proud or mortified. The good news is this: if something is meant to be, it will happen in divine time. What we’ve said or didn’t say and what we’ve done or haven’t done doesn’t matter. All of the worrying we put ourselves and others through is for nothing. It’s just that human time makes us feel impatient when we’re not seeing or feeling what it is we want at present. On the contrary, if something is not meant to be, then again all of the worrying we put ourselves and others through in order to make it happen is for nothing. This is simply because someone and/or something else awaits us even far better than what we could have imagined if we’re open and willing to receive it.
When we live and experience moments that make us feel peaceful, joyful, and loved, that’s what really matters because it allows us to return to the natural state of our soul’s being. On some level or another, we all desire and deserve to feel this way. The same also applies with every interpersonal exchange that we have with people ranging from the first or last meeting through daily interactions that may last a lifetime. Subconsciously or consciously, each time we’re in the presence of others we give them a little piece of our heart and in return, they give the same to us. Today and always, this is what truly matters.