A 15 Step Guide To Reclaiming And Remembering Who You Really Are

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Franca Giminez

Why do we forget about what we already have? Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s right in front of us and inside of us; so very much so that we end up in a state of blurred vision or perhaps complete blindness. When we spend too much time in our own heads, we fail to recognize that the world around us continues to turn. We lose sight of the fact that others also share in the experience of being human. We find ways to project our wants, fears, desires, and expectations onto others — hoping they will fix us and meet our needs. When they don’t live up to “our set of demands,” we criticize them and often ourselves quite harshly.

There are two truths: others in our lives may be just as lost as we are… perhaps if not more. Or, they see themselves and us clearly. However, they know that it’s not their job to “fix” us and fill the mold that we’ve tried so very hard to put them in. In turn, they encourage us to do our own work — whether they physically leave or remain present, they give us the space that we need.

1.) You must know that you have the power to heal yourself.

It’s a natural ability that we all possess. It can be done through self-awareness, becoming attuned to your basic needs, and acceptance. Our mind, body, and soul awaits our attention, it’s just a matter of being ready and willing to do the work at your own pace.

2.) Once you begin to nurture your broken parts, transformations will begin to take place.

Physical, mental, and emotional differences in our person become evident to ourselves and others. You may notice that in tandem as your purge your living space you may also lose weight. The point is, you are doing away with what it is that is weighing you down. What once brought you pain (even something as simple as a song), can now be confronted neutrally and with ease.

3.) People, behaviors, and things that you once used to fill voids will fall away or reinvent themselves.

What once could have caused us potential harm, indifference, or discomfort in our lives no longer has a place in it. We become aware of our past ways and make the decision to fill ourselves and our time in a way that feels good, secure, and comfortable.

4.) Others will respond to what you believe you are and what you think you deserve.

If you know your self-worth, you will honor and care for yourself. In turn, you can guide others to reach their potential and teach them how to treat you with dignity.

5.) Instead of coming from a place of lack, stop focusing on what isn’t, and start thinking about what is.

Once you begin to reframe the way you speak about or see your current situation, you will allow for more blessings to enter your life in ways unimagined. Instead of criticizing or lamenting, find ways to make positive declarations — out loud or only for your mind to hear.

6.) Being sincere with yourself gives you opportunities to live a life without regret, doubt, and insecurity.

It frees you to navigate the world through honesty rather than hiding behind a self-imposed mask. Why spend your days being dishonest to the person who most deserves your honesty? You owe it to yourself to speak and seek your personal truth.

7.) Being sincere with others allows you to speak your heart and mind in a way that is supportive, constructive, and helpful rather than judgmental, damaging, and critical.

At times it can be very difficult to express the true desires of our heart, show our vulnerable side, anticipate rejections or perhaps fear that we’ll hurt others. It’s in your right to express how and what you think and feel — it’s all about the delivery and authenticity.

8.) Decide what it is that you want and make a flexible plan.

Giving yourself a reasonable deadline can help make the process flow more smoothly and if things need to change along the way to achieving success, embrace it — no matter how difficult or easy it may be.

9.) Think about one of the most beautiful days you’ve already lived.

Let the warmth of the memory fill your heart and expand your mind. Take this feeling and let it multiply—allowing yourself more beautiful days to come. Allow this memory to breathe and don’t hold on to it too tight…because in turn you’re making space for new ones to enter.

10.) Remember that you are human. It’s not your job to be perfect. It’s your job to be you.

There may be someone else more beautiful, smart, rich, kind, and stable than you. There may be someone who isn’t as beautiful, smart, rich, kind, and stable as you. None of this matters. What matters is that you have a unique role and identity here on earth—in which there is only “one” you—imperfectly perfect.

11.) Have patience with yourself… and with others.

When there is something that we can obtain in our own power, it tends to come easier such as purchasing a new article of clothing, signing up for a course, discovering a new hobby, or choosing what you’d like to eat for dinner. But when someone else is involved, you’re working on two different timeframes, not one. Think jobs, relationships, vacation plans.

12.) Forgive yourself.

There may be times that you’re not proud of what you’ve said, done, thought, and how you behaved. That’s ok. It already happened and you can choose to self-correct and move forward in a way that allows you to feel proud of your words and actions in the present and future.

13.) Forgive others.

There also may be times that someone has wronged, betrayed, violated, and hurt you deeply. You can choose to let go of the anger and resentment — chances are, they have already forgotten about it. By you replaying the events over and over again is not going to change what already happened, but will only cause more trauma to an already fragilepart of you. Although this may beone of the most difficult things to do, it is you who will come out victorious through love rather than hate.

14.) Trust and have faith.

You were put here on earth for a reason—it may or not be clear to you just yet, but you’re here to learn, grow, and evolve through the face of adversity and through many blessings. This is the balance of things and by choosing to trust in yourself, others, and your life’s process, your time here will be that much more meaningful. It’s what you make of it.

15.) Love yourself and love others.

We have the choice to live our lives through the eyes of fear or through the eyes of love. When you see through fear, it inhibits you to see yourself, others, and situations clearly. The mental torment wears you down — dimming your inner light. But when you see through love, it allows you to see yourself, others, and situations clearly. Peace of mind is the greatest gift you can give to yourself — illuminating your inner light. TC mark

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