How You Start Self-Loving In The Face of Self-Loathing

The mind is incredibly powerful. It has the ability to learn, absorb, analyze, process, and reflect while guiding us to make simple and complex decisions on a daily basis. Each of us has special talents and aptitudes along with various ways of interpreting and experiencing the world. Life experience, family, interpersonal relationships, and geography all have a role in how our minds develop and are shaped.

But the mind can be most dangerous to our well-being. By taking the necessary steps to de-program the negative memories, thoughts, and impressions that it has recorded in this lifetime and beyond, we can learn to cope with and even quiet the constant chatter. From childhood, we are taught through fear whether it stem from family, friends, teachers, or even through the media. From a young age, the damage begins. Only when we become self-aware of why we carry inner suffering, engage in self-destructive behavior, or why we treat others and in turn ourselves poorly, the cycle of fear-based thinking continues.

What if we are able to harness the energy of negative based thinking and take steps to transmute and transform it into positive thoughts? We can re-create our self-image positively and heal the “scars” on the brain. It is all possible and within our reach only if we start to say goodbye to self-doubt, self-loathing, and self-judgment. Making the commitment to love one’s self is the first step. It’s certainly the best gift and investment one can make. By re-teaching the mind how to think and process through a new and uplifting perspective, the heart will expand and inner peace and contentment will follow.

Easier said than done. However, it’s all within your reach. We can only control ourselves and it’s not our job to control others. Finding the discipline to create opportunities for daily self-reflection and decompress, the mind begins to release its burdens. It is certainly tiresome to watch the same films we project over and over again along with spiraling thoughts that go in circles without end. Each day is a new opportunity for re-set and doing the best that we can for ourselves and others. However, it’s remembering that we all hold our own level of standards—what your best may be for you may not be the best for another. But it doesn’t matter. If you are true and authentic to yourself, then you are functioning at your best regularly.

Think about it. How many times has someone given you a compliment and you quickly brush it off? Even believing that it was insincere, though in fact it was genuine. Replying with a negative response will only tear yourself down in the face of another. The next time someone gives you a compliment, learn to say thank you—whether you believe it or not. Sooner or later, this small step will allow you to say it more with ease and eventually, your mind will believe it. How many times have you given yourself a compliment? If you can’t recall, take a moment, pause…and say it. You can thank yourself now or later. TC mark

image – Leanne Surfleet

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