There is nothing more beautiful than waking up on a Sunday morning, facing each other side by side. Adoringly being stared at followed by a slow smile and waving hand to signify “Good morning, I’m here.” Only to be delicately pulled close against his chest and embraced while falling back to sleep. Love comes in many different forms and languages — actions, gestures, touch, quality time. Once we identify the language we speak and the language that our loved ones speak, we can find balance and harmony in our communication.
But what happens when we’re temporarily blinded by what we believe love should look like? Why is it that we’re desensitized to its touch? Or what if we have a fortress built around our hearts in which it’s not possible for us to feel it and let it permeate our walls? Classic and contemporary history, literature, art, film, music, personal life experience and that of others can add to our judgments, expectations, and preconceived notions of it being all or nothing — one way or another. However, if we just let it exist as is, it could be that much more expansive and surpass the limits that we’ve constructed.
Based upon our upbringing, past and present relationships, and a variety of influences in our lives, we may have an altered or skewed view that further inhibits us from engaging in a meaningful, easy, and beneficial rapport with another. Relationships give us the opportunity to learn about ourselves and while helping your partner learn about his/herself as well.
Although romantic pairings tend to reveal some of the most important teaching and learning moments, this concept can also be applied within the context of children, family members, friends, and colleagues. Even an encounter with a complete stranger can be incredibly impacting.
Some of the most difficult relationships serve us for a purpose — whether it may be clear in the present or its significance is yet to be revealed. But there are also those relationships in our lives that give us strength, support, fulfillment and encouragement — when someone genuinely wants well for you and you want well for them. It’s having a sense of openness and gratitude for who has entered our lives and who is still to arrive.
Everyone conceptualizes and experiences love in their own and unique way. Especially in romantic love, a whole gamut of emotions, feelings, and thoughts take over. It’s the classic pull of both the head and the heart. In one moment we may feel treasured and cherished while in the next breath we may feel unappreciated, unworthy, or perhaps that our needs aren’t being met.
Each relationship dynamic of course is case by case sensitive. In a general sense, our partner may believe that he/she is showing and expressing love, but it’s in a language that we perhaps don’t understand because it seems foreign and confusing. Once we can clarify for ourselves what makes us feel loved, we can express it constructively and in turn, encourage our partner to share what feels good to them as well.