I’ve never had someone to miss before. Parents don’t count. Because I mean really miss. Like, holy shit why am I thinking about you at all hours of the day kind of miss.
This obsessive thinking gave me an out of body experience when I realized how much I actually cared for another human being other than myself. I’m not selfish. I’m just cynical. I’m also a Sagittarius.
So I met this guy. And he flipped my world upside down. Then we parted ways. We’re victims of bad timing.
Then I started missing him.
And it’s a feeling (more of a struggle) that’s been messing with my brain. Or maybe it’s my heart? I can’t tell. Because it consumes my whole body. Every sense of my being. And I believe it to be the worst feeling in the world.
That feeling when you clench your jaw at the need to touch him.
That feeling when you roll on his side of the bed and it’s empty.
That feeling when you have to squeeze yourself because he’s not there to hug.
That feeling when you take out your phone only to fight the urge to double message him.
That feeling when you type out a drunk text because it’s the truth.
That feeling when you send it and stuff your phone away because you don’t want to know how he’ll respond.
That feeling of longing after hearing his voice on the phone.
That feeling when bite your lip thinking about your last goodbye.
That painful feeling of not knowing when you’re going to see him again.
That hopeful feeling of knowing he’s just a plane ride away.
That fearless feeling when you wonder what’s holding you back.
That feeling when it hurts to think about him, yet he’s always on your mind.
My least favorite feeling in the world is missing him. And yet, I feel it every day.