Gentlemen, can you guess the number one complaint that men have about their relationships?
Of course you can. It’s —”not enough sex.”
Can you relate?
What if I told you there is a sure way to fix that? Something your wife finds super sexy and wishes you would do more often (as in, all the time). And you don’t even have to splurge on a vacation to Monaco or a Hope-sized-diamond.
The solution to getting more sex from the woman in your life is simple — SEDUCTION.
That’s right, seduction … that art of creating animal magnetism that you initially practiced to attract her in a first place.
Remember that? No? Then let me refresh your memory.
Before you two announced exclusivity and changed your Facebook status to ‘In a relationship;’ before you even met this woman of your dreams (and future mother of your children), you were single.
In order to spend the night with someone other than your cable provider and your right hand, you would go out and hopefully meet a woman. Maybe you were a natural with the ladies and swept women off their feet at first glance. Or, perhaps, you hired a dating coach or attended pick-up artist seminars.
However it transpired, you practiced the art of seduction to get this Goddess-Of-A-Woman to not only exchange numbers, but to, eventually, sleep with you.
You probably used different techniques: from romantic dinners and slight hand touches to flowers and subtle-but-gentle kisses on back of her neck (that made her want to immediately ask for a check, opting to have you for dessert instead of tiramisu). Rings a bell now?
So what was it that made you stop? Complacency? Laziness? False sense of security or entitlement?
Whatever it was, you need to bring it back.
Let me state the obvious: men are visual and sexual creatures. All it takes for you to get aroused (provided, of course, you’re attracted to a woman) is for her to touch your wee-wee or get naked. Sometimes all he she has to do is show up.
Men see boobs and legs and they are ready and able. Not so with women.
You already know that women are much more complex creatures when it comes to sexual arousal. Don’t believe me? Read the research done by some really smart scientists for the International Journal of Impotence Research (yes, there is such a publication – who knew?). They list more conditions for fluctuations in female sexual arousal than this article can fit: personal relationships, family concerns, child issues, emotional status, physical conditions, menstrual cycles, and on and on and on.
When it comes to seduction — you should know your woman best. But in case you’ve forgotten how this seduction thing goes, let me remind you.
First, consider things that DO NOT constitute seduction. As a matter of fact, these actions are a huge TURN OFF! Do them and you’re killing your chances of her wanting sex:
1. Groping her body
If she is working at her desk, coming up from behind and sticking your hand in her bra will get you a reprimand if you’re lucky, or a slap if you’re not. One thing it won’t get you is laid. It’s not sexy. It doesn’t feel good. So stop it.
2. Suddenly getting naked (or whipping out your d*ck)
Remember when I said that women are not as visual as men? They see plenty of hot bodies on the internet and cable. Don’t expect her to attack you just because you are in front of her in all your bare glory. The only thing you will get with that silly strip-down move is a cold. Not sex.
3. Talking crassly about wanting sex
There’s a time and place for ‘dirty talk’ but leading with it before things even start heating up is a big mistake. Start off more subtly. Saying things like “You turn me on, bend over!” will ensure you don’t get any. Even blunt, out of nowhere phrases like: ‘I’m in the mood, are you?” or “Wanna do it now?” are hardly arousing.
Being crude, rude, or tactless in your approach to sex tells her you don’t think she’s worth the effort. So why should she think you are?
So, what do you do instead? How do you seduce your woman so that you don’t end up alone or in a therapist’s office complaining of lack of sex? Here’s how you get her to remember that she actually finds you attractive and likes having sex with you:
Look your best. Think ZZ Top: ‘Every girl’s crazy ’bout a sharp dressed man.’ And fellas, it’s true.
Get a head-start! Don’t start trying to seduce her the moment you want sex. Start earlier, at dinner by flirting with her across the table (yes you can do it even after you’ve known each for 10 months or 10 years). Tell her she’s beautiful … and mean it!
Make her want you! That’s the key to the whole seduction experience. How do you make her want you? You do so by increasing the sexual tension. Gently brush your hand against hers. Let your hand linger on her back or arms as you touch her. Whisper something in her ear (usually something like “you’re stunning” or similar, just refrain from reminding her to pick up the car from the mechanic or asking what’s for dinner).
Go slow! Instead of grabbing her boob, kiss the back of her neck. Trust me guys, it is an erogenous zone in women. As long as you don’t end up crudley licking her décolleté, neck kisses are a great place to start. By the time you get to boobs, you’ve moved up into foreplay.
Gradually undress together. Undress her (and yourself) slowly. Look her in the eyes (don’t just stare only at her 34DDs).
Gentlemen — a wealth of books and songs exist about the art of seduction. There are as many ways to seduce the woman you love as there are women in the world. You successfully seduced her before and loved the benefits of that effort you put in. After all, not only did you get her to go out with you, but to stick around as well!
It does not take much to do it again.
Remember, as long as you keep seducing her, you’ll never find yourself complaining about sex in your relationship again (except if there is, perhaps, too much of it).