I’ve always believed that communication is one of the most important keys to a successful relationship. Even in friendships, no matter how long you’ve known someone, you still need them to tell you when things are not right.
People like me can never keep it in. We feel heavy when we keep our worries to ourselves, like there’s a load on our back that we’re carrying wherever we go. But, unlike us, there are others who do not feel the need to communicate what’s in their head, simply because they’d rather not have to listen to lame explanations and invalid excuses. So they choose to assume. And with assumption comes the very first steps to misunderstandings, which eventually lead to arguments.
There are a lot of factors involved in the communication process — speaking, listening, body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Deciding to avoid all that without hesitation is the first obstacle towards a healthy relationship.
One of the main components of a healthy relationship is healthy communication.
While speaking about what’s bothering you, you reveal a lot about yourself. For instance, how you feel in specific situations, your reactions, the way you respond to certain incidents.
But then again, I get it; people prefer to avoid communication during anger or heartache because things tend to unravel quickly when we are not hearing each other, in turn causing conflict and making the situation worse.
So who’s doing it right, then? The communicators or the silent ones?
I guess the answer is no one. It’s all about when and how you choose to speak and when you decide that silence is a better option.
For those who can never keep their anger to themselves and feel relieved when they blast it off, you might need to tone it down a little bit — or better, give yourself time to cool down by thinking of all the messes you make when you speak out of anger. Only speak when you feel like you had enough time to think of your words before spitting them out.
As for the silent ones, I understand that it can be more convenient to you to leave everything and just stay in your own bubble. But the people in your life deserve explanations for your actions, especially when these actions affect them in any way. By having the courtesy to tell them what’s on your mind, it reassures them and reminds them that you care about them just as much as they care to understand what’s keeping you distant.