Being with someone you love is often one of the most comfortable feelings in the world. But what if you’re nowhere close to comfort with the one you love? What if you constantly feel that you’re too hard to love, or that you’re never enough, no matter how much you try, although it’s a given that you shouldn’t even be trying in the first place.
Even when you feel like you’re in the wrong place, you can never take the decision to leave. You feel stuck like it’s your destiny to keep up with the life you wrongly chose. But when it so happens that your partner decides to leave, only then do you realize that you’ve been wasting your life trying to be with someone who is only causing you damage, and all you’ve put yourself through is just more and more pain.
Toxic relationships make you feel empty, filled with self-doubt and nothing left to give. Despite knowing your worth, you accept all the pain he’s causing you, in the name of love. You keep ignoring all the signs and the advice you get from people around you, just so you can convince yourself that this relationship is the best you’ve ever had, and the best you’ll ever get, while all this relationship is doing, is pulling out all your energy, until you‘re left blank, drowning in a deep hole of memories.
Sadly though, even after deciding to let go and start over, the memories keep haunting you. Daily nightmares, hours of daydreaming, and endless overthinking. The toxicity acts like a ghost and continues to follow you wherever you go. It becomes a scar that is hard to let go of, and sometimes even impossible!
It can take months and sometimes even years. Nevertheless, you slowly start learning to love yourself and notice how you were always surrounded by people who love you, yet you preferred the ones who didn’t; the ones who were only good at breaking your heart. Those people who stick with you to help you get back on your feet are the light at the end of the tunnel, and often your only hope to get through the pain you’ve been living with.