When You Love Someone With A Busy Mind

Loving someone with an overthinking mind is nothing short of a challenge. It takes a big heart, a lot of strength, and more patience than most could imagine.

We know it isn’t easy.

A mind that is constantly picking things apart can allow us to be more attentive. It can allow us to care and love deeper simply because of our attention to detail. It can be great, but it can also stir up unwanted anxiety, add tension where there doesn’t need to be any, and jeopardize something beautiful. It allows us to pick up on the slightest change in tone, conversation, actions, simple behavior, and demeanor—things commonly overlooked or things that genuinely are harmless and usually would go unnoticed.

We focus on all of the details, big and small. We’re usually sure to cross T’s and dot I’s, assuring ourselves that we have a full understanding of things. We overanalyze and can quickly turn nothing into something without even trying. Sometimes we need reassurance, over and over again, even if you’ve given us no reason to need it. We can ask a simple question and, even with the perfect answer, have a spider-web of new questions that mean the same thing.

It isn’t easy. It’s frustrating. Not only for those on the receiving end of it but us as well. The spiderwebs are far from a walk in the park, and although we might try and brush them off as if they are nothing, deep down, they can weigh on our hearts and our minds for quite some time. So trust me, we know it’s frustrating.

It creates almost a constant battle with keeping our mouths shut and saying what we so desperately are trying not to simply because we know that we don’t need to. Truth is, sometimes the thoughts will just stop if we can say what we are thinking. We know it might sound ridiculous. We know you might have answered the question three times already, and believe me, we are sorry. After all, you most likely have done nothing to spark the question in the first place. Chances are, we heard something on TV, had a conversation with a friend, or just weren’t occupying ourselves at the time.

Realistically, our busy minds tend to wander for a variety of reasons, but our thoughts usually stem off from things we can relate to. Maybe from a time that we were let down, lied too, hurt. A time that we’ve put ourselves out there and put all of our trust in someone, just to have it wasted. A moment when we had to learn that not everyone has the heart we do or the thought process we do. Not everyone is thinking about us first or at all, and the hard truth is that not everyone has our best interests in mind. But we can’t help but focus on others first.

That isn’t for a pat on the back. That isn’t so you “owe” us anything or so we are a “better” person. An overthinking mind just usually allows you to simply put others first. We don’t want to allow someone to feel something we wouldn’t want to, especially if we have felt it before. We tend to be more lenient, more go with the flow. Sure, we still have our wants and needs, and trust me, they are still important. But we know how to allow others to be just as happy, and usually others being happy makes us happy because we care and love with everything we have.

It takes a lot. But I can promise you, it’s worth it. I can promise you that there will be more happy moments than frustrating. You can rest assured that hurting you isn’t on our agenda. Letting you feel unloved or unwanted isn’t something we want to happen. Truth is, loving you is all we want to do, and all we want in return is for you to love us.

About the author
Everything happens for a reason. Have faith, have grace and have grit. Follow Marilyn on Instagram or read more articles from Marilyn on Thought Catalog.

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