I Am Lucky To Be Able To Miss You This Much

Today I shouted at the sky and exhaled, hoping the universe would give me a clone of you. To say I miss you is an understatement… What I would do to have you closer, to hold you longer, to hear your voice on a loop in my ears.. I have grown to love you from a distance, and despite all this time, it’s still not easy..

I miss you. I miss you in a more than a “I wish you were here to watch Netflix” kinda way. I miss you the way I would miss a limb. It feels like I’m walking around missing something essential to my being, something I’m meant to be with.

Some days the phantom pain of missing you creeps up on me. I can’t sleep, and I start thinking of where you are, if you ate, and if you’re okay. On most days, I power through missing you by drowning myself in distractions and sleep. I numb myself until I no longer feel the void that my existence is when you aren’t there..

I’m in love with you though, and that’s where things get tricky. I want my emotional tank filled with love and affection. When you’re around, I am fulfilled, but when you are not, I am empty. It really is like having a hole in my chest.

Feeling this down makes my days feel long, but on the other hand, I feel so blessed to feel this deeply. I am overcome with emotions, love, and admiration for you. Missing you is part of loving you, and I wouldn’t change it if I could. What we have experienced together has made us what we are today. It is why the fire and passion remains on, despite sometimes being in less than ideal situations. I love you. I love all you are and will continue to for the rest of my days.

I write everything I can’t say.

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