I have often fantasized on how to tell you I love you for the first time. I think for a while now I’ve wanted the perfect phrase or the ambiance or god knows what to make what I want to say perfect, but life isn’t like that. I have looked for every word in the English language to string together to tell you how I feel. I have realized now there isn’t a perfect way to say this, however it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t. I love you.
I am fascinated with your being. Your brain, your soul, your eyes and your smile. Your presence makes me intoxicated and overwhelmed. Not nervous, but overwhelmed with all of this love oozing out of my pores. I feel so grateful for you, and I love every minute we spend together.
I don’t really know when it happened — when I started loving you this way. It was just moments that really shook me and made me realize how important you are. You are the first person I call, the first person I think of when I wake up, when I’m going to sleep. At 2 p.m., when I am busy as can be, I still miss you and long for you. At 2 a.m., when the world is asleep, I am up counting down the minutes until I hear your infectious laugh again.
I need you to know you are loved. Every day, even when we talk about the most mundane things like needing to pump gas, I think, “Wow, how lucky am I?” I have learned that love is not about words but rather the actions that come along with them. Its taking care of each other when we are sick, surprising each other, sending each other memes and funny pictures. We are love, every day.
I wish I could tell you though. I wish I could scream how much I love you from the rooftops. I love being there for you. I love making you laugh. I love having you to be a wonderful friend and partner. Loving you is so awesome. And I wish there was a word that’s less lame than that, but I can’t think of any. It’s awesome. It’s a finding $5 in your pocket, being able to sleep in, having your favorite meal, winning the lotto kind of awesome. Loving you has been an incredible, life-changing journey.
It’s crazy because you read about all these love stories — from Ernest Hemingway to Jane Austen to Nicholas Sparks — and never imagine something that magical can happen to you. And if I am being honest, it’s so much better. You and I are real and are constantly evolving in beautiful ways.
We were friends first. Fast forward almost two years later and I can talk to you for over six hours and be happy. You are my best friend and I feel incredibly lucky to have you. The moment I decided to get on the bridge with you and take that leap of faith only solidified that life is about taking risks. Not a day goes by that I regret it.
I love that we have both become more emotionally and mentally naked and free with one another. It’s my favorite thing about us. It’s the most natural thing. It feels like I’ve known you forever. And it was inevitable for me to feel all this love for you because you are an incredible friend with a huge heart and a lot of patience. You’re something I didn’t know I could have. One of the many things you and I agree on is that there aren’t that many good people in this world.. and let me tell you, you are one of them. You are by far the most amazing person I have come to know.
I thank God and my lucky stars for you twice. I love you more than words could ever say.