I Don’t Want You To Play Dating Games With Me

Unsplash / Timothy Paul Smith

I don’t know but I hear it’s all about mysteries now. It’s all about you having this romantic crush on someone and not saying anything. It’s all about playing hard to get. It’s about the mind games, who falls first and who admits their love first.

I don’t know but I hear we have to be cunning. I can’t let you know I forgave you. I’ve to make it seem like you need to bring me the moon first. And you. You have to act like you’re not jealous.

I’m hearing we can’t be straightforward anymore. We can’t just talk our hearts out without thinking a million times before uttering a word.

I don’t know but I don’t like it that way. I don’t want it that way and I hope, I so deeply hope, that you don’t want it that way either.

To tell you what I really want, I have to be honest around here. Honesty would push me to tell you this: I am afraid. I am doubtful and the only thing that I know for sure is that love is courage.

Love is not a game. Love is not about rules. Love is about souls, about hearts, and about that mirror that we allow to reflect our spirits so that we are truly naked before each other. Naked with our minds and souls.

I have to tell you that to take that step towards loving you was not an easy thing to do. I’m not used to not going all the way. I’m not used to not finishing what I started and I want us to make it until the end.

I crave your transparency. Your honesty. I crave your voice telling me it loves me whenever it feels like it. I crave hugging you out of nowhere just to tell you I had a fantasy that I lost you. Just to tell you that hugging you was how I comfort myself with your existence.

I crave the space that we can and must create to listen to each other no matter what happens. No matter what the circumstances around us look like.

I crave your love. Deep, truthful, faithful, and real. And present. Before all, present. Not hidden away from me.

When you feel that something is wrong, tell me. When you feel that our love is overwhelming you, tell me. That is how we solve our problems and how we make them disappear.

I don’t want us to be cautious with our love. We ain’t walking on eggshells. We’re flying. When we really love each other, we’re flying. Seeing how vast this universe turned out to be and how our love made it even bigger.

I know what you’re thinking. We’re taking a big risk. If we’re being ourselves and opening our hearts, we are taking a huge risk. But why not? I want to take a risk. With you, I really want that.

I crave that risk. My heart may get broken but if I’m shielding it, if I’m trying to cover it, it might break with loneliness.

There are no guarantees with love but who said we need them? I want to feel love, as hard and deep as it could be. And if that means I have to wear my heart on my sleeve then I truly don’t mind.

But I wonder if you too could break these rules, the modern dating rules, these hide and seek games — and just make love a tool to reassure me rather than use it to play with my heart.

I wonder if our love can be strong enough for you to do that for me.ย TC mark

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