Let’s say you’re type one of lovers. You know what love is like. You’ve loved before and you know how it feels. You’ve fell for someone and for this period of your life you thought that you were the luckiest person on earth because love chose you.
Out of all people it chose you to bless you with all the raw feelings it brings. Now let’s say that the luck didn’t last.
Things didn’t work out as you hoped and you realized that just because two people love each other, that gives no guarantee they’ll make it through love. Let’s say you realized that love alone is not enough and that sometimes things end, despite being beautiful and magical, they just end.
Let’s say that you are type two of lovers. That you’ve never loved before. That you only dreamed of love.That all that you knew of love, you knew from books and movies and your friends’ talks. That you even thought that maybe it just doesn’t exist. It’s all a myth. A thing that people created to fill their time. To make them feel wanted, needed or important by any means.
Now let’s say that whatever type of the previous two types you were, you lived your life looking for love in every person you meet. Looking for it to repeat it, to feel that wonderful feeling one more time or to scream to the world that “oh my god, love does exist!”.
It’s okay to look for love you know. We all do that at some point. This is not the problem. The problem is when you get into people’s lives and fake love. The problem is when you say that you love someone when the truth is you just like them. It doesn’t seem like a big deal sometimes. The relationship that you entered because you thought it’s better to go home and call your lover and tell him you miss him than to go home and stay all by yourself doesn’t seem like much of a lie.
And all I know is that loneliness, if you don’t know how to love it, is certainly not the greatest privilege out there that it’s okay if people try to escape it. But, what’s not okay is when you admit to yourself that this person is not who you want so you decide to end your relationship. When you finally say out loud that you don’t think you’ve ever loved the person to whom you whisper I LOVE YOUs every night. When you tell the one whom you made think that he’s your everything, that he’s barely even a thing to you.
That’s when all the ugliness appears. The love that you tried to force tells you it can’t exist just because you want it to. The heart that you will break because you once feared ending up alone, will make you end up alone and hated because you didn’t live to your words.
All the promises that you uttered with words like “I’ll stay with you forever” when you couldn’t even see yourself together for another month will haunt you with all the dreams you had in mind but never were.
You see, my friend, there’s probably not a single person out there who doesn’t wish that love existed in his life. That he could have someone he can trust and cherish and love. But love is still the only wish that you can’t work to have. It comes when it comes. And till then, if you think that you can’t commit to marriage, then don’t let your girl dream of it. If you’re still not over your ex boyfriend yet but you know that the man you’re with is still too good to lose, then at least let him know that loving him can be hard sometimes when the pressure of forgetting is a little too much that you just let the memories in.
If you can’t keep your heart from thinking that you deserve more then you better wait. Better wait for that more than to settle for someone, then blame him for only being what he was clear he just was from the first place.
If you know that your love for someone is so big but it’s something the universe could take, then don’t say otherwise, don’t exaggerate. And most importantly, don’t make promises you can’t keep. Be True about your capacity and ability of love because remember, eventually, an ugly truth would still be better than a sweet lie.