I don’t know if you’re in your twenties, thirties or fifties, I believe that you can still be prone to an Identity crisis.
I’ve lately read that such crisis is supposed to hit a teenager mostly, someone who is just taking his first steps in life but no, this is not just it I guess, this could hit you at any age.
An Identity crisis can hit you when you’ve finished high school and now are asking yourself if you want to join the college your parents have always had for you in their minds and it may hit you when you’re a parent yourself surrounded with your kids and teaching them what you’ve been taught as a kid but for a moment you wonder if that’s really what you believe in.
I was thinking lately about people who do not have the courage to be themselves, who try to pretend to be someone they’re not, who fake a laugh, who hide a tear, who stop their insecurities from being outspoken in any possible way and who do anything they could to feel accepted.
I was thinking that being oneself seems like a really hard deed these days. In a judgmental world as the one we live in, it’s hard for one to act spontaneously or share his mind without fearing the judgments that’ll be casted upon him. In a world like this, where we are afraid to be ourselves, how can we know ourselves at all!
My best friend was telling me lately how afraid she has been on thinking about her life. She was telling me how she doesn’t know if she’s doing anything that matters or if her career is what she wanted to do or what she was forced to do. She was telling me she’s even been thinking about love and How she can’t see it that someone might love her one day because she doesn’t know what’s so special about herself that can make her loved. She doesn’t know who she is.
People now, though in the twenty first century, wonder how teenagers get depression and How adults can’t survive without therapists. And I think that some of the people haven’t realized yet that the current generation and the Y generation are so damn stressed. This is just how life has gotten us.
We are stressed about almost everything and the reason as I think is is that we’re getting more acknowledged to so many things, maybe it’s because of the Internet that has brought the world between our hands.
Maybe because a girl opens a porn website and her understandings get mislead by the definitions of beauty or because a boy opens the link to some news saying how a boy of the same age has invented some scientific thing that will change the world and he now thinks he’s worthless and forever will be for not achieving a success as similar or maybe because someone has heard that nerds are the worst so he has forced himself in another disguise that never made him feel comfortable but seemed like the right thing to do or maybe because women long to fight for their rights but they can’t when the society can’t stand by their side.
Maybe because we just don’t know how we’ve been raised to certain standards but grew up to find everyone around us living against them. Maybe because we are turning more ambitious than our parents but somehow we’ve been lost before knowing our potential and we sold ourselves short when instead of dreaming big, we ended asking if we are ever good enough.
Maybe because love became sex and porn became romance and ethics became misunderstood and success became nerdy and failure was a reason good enough for some to tell you you’re such a waste and bullying and rape became restricted topics you can live through them buy it’s “inappropriate” to speak of them.
Maybe being lost and having an identity crisis had to happen, sooner or later and you should have known it was inevitable.
I don’t know what I can tell you now but I know that when this crisis hits a person it makes him think about his plans for the future, it makes him start asking himself questions that he might have been avoiding his whole life, that it might raise his doubts concerning love or careers, concerning how he sees politics, religion, work and pretty much everything.
And if you think about it, there’s nothing bad with having such a thing, whether you think it’s a bit late or a bit too early, know that there must have been a reason it visited you at that time. I know it concerns you the twirl it’ll leave you in for a while but at least these questions are a way to know who you are. One of my readers once reminded with that saying,” To have a good answer, you should ask a good question “,and thinking of it, to know who you are you must ask yourself on which aspects you want to recognize yourself.
Be raw, true and honest on answering. Be clear and straightforward. If you think that you believe in your country’s old customs and not just that you’ve done them because they’re what you’ve been born into, then say it even if someone called you old fashioned. If you think love is real, say it even to those who say it’s a fantasy, support your own belief. If you love to focus on your job more than anything, do it even if some will call you a workaholic.
But above all, while trying to know who you are, you must know that we should explore different options, cultures and opinions and you must know that we can change, that there’s nothing wrong with having one opinion one day and changing it on another because realize that our mind grows with us and on some days it might start seeing things it was blind to before.
Dear, my advice is to embrace this crisis with all you’ve got but aim to let its existence guide you to being yourself unapologetically.