You have learned about giving before.
Giving help, offering a hand, an ear to people’s problems.
You have learned about sharing each other’s stories and how important it is to not abandon one another but what if you still wonder about sharing our hearts.
What if you still don’t know if you are doing it right.
Still asking if you’re doing it more than you should, or if you are not doing it right at all.
We become doubtful if our kindness is enough when we find there’s no feedback to it, no one seems grateful for it so we start thinking that maybe we should be more kind, maybe then we would know.
The same happens when it comes to love, we give love but when it’s not reciprocated we wonder if the amount of love or the way we gave it is enough, if it has ever been or ever will be.
There’s a little problem with people who feel too much and it is that they are always aware of what they give, of what they do and what others do no less. If you are one of those then you sure know that when you love someone, not only that you love them with all you have got but you also analyse how they love you back and most of the times you blame yourself if anything goes badly, like if for instance they don’t love you back.
If you are one of those who feel too much and you have loved someone the way you know how to love best but you didn’t get the same love back, or even received none in return, your mind starts pouring assumptions above your head.
”You must have done something wrong. You should have cared more, should have had something better to say, should have had more stories to tell or even should have shared more compliments or jokes or words on every aspect of life there is. ”
Your mind thinks that maybe you are just not enough and the one person you’ve loved with all your heart deserves someone better, prettier, smarter, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that the only thing your mind can think of is that the one you have loved the most must be worthy of someone who is just MORE than you.
You are vulnerable. Your mind and heart are so full of love they can hardly think there could be someone to blame but yourself. Your mind is smart, observes almost everything but here are a few things it might have missed.
Your mind didn’t trigger you to ask yourself this.
”When it comes to the one I love, what if I won’t tell them about my adventures when I went to the desert years ago but I’ll tell them about every time it has rained inside my heart.
What if I have no experience at life, which sounds boring, but that’s only because I want to experience everything with them.
What if I can’t give them any help but I can promise them to stay by their side and never let go even when the night comes and the darkness shields their heart.
What if I have nothing to give, but the parts of me I cherish the most, I will hand them to the one i love on a silver plate.”
Your mind that doubted your potential to love, didn’t tell you once that maybe your love will only be enough when the right person is there to see it.
Your mind also failed to tell you that when one person loves another, it is not a test, no one loves another for his skills, no one is holding a list in his hands of things he wants in the person he loves and waiting for you to fill them and once you do, congratulations, you have passed, that person is going to fall in love with you.
This is not how love happens because when someone really loves you, they’ll do so even if you suck at loving. Even if you don’t know what to say or when to say it, they’ll just love you.
Maybe loving someone didn’t mean they should love you back because if they fell for someone else, it only means that the other person was just more suitable for them and that never means that you are a bad person or not enough or less as what your mind is trying to talk you into.
In love, it is really so hard to see it as a competition for it is almost nothing but two opposite poles coming together and this is a nature you cannot change.
Maybe your unrequited love was all about teaching your heart how to grow, the same way when every time a rose you tried to grow wilted taught you to keep on learning how to grow plants right, maybe it takes a rose to wilt the first time you try to water it to give you the garden you live in later.
And maybe your love was not enough because there was someone better waiting for you.
Someone who won’t make you doubt yourself.
Someone who won’t make you wonder if your love is enough because to them your love would be more than enough.
Someone who would accept your love,
Even if your love is all you have to offer.