My Socially Unacceptable Wedding Soundtrack

The other day I was Spotifying Def Leppard in search of inspiration for my writing (don’t judge), and a live version of “Pour Some Sugar On Me” began to trickle through my earbuds.  I don’t know what it is about that song, but it gets me going, almost to the point where I’d say, yes, Joe Elliot, even though you look a little like Chad Kroeger, you can be this demolition woman’s man (my man, hoo-uh).

Anyway, as I was listening to the song on repeat, I had a thought: I wish it were socially acceptable to play this song at my wedding. Strange, right? Why did I jump straight to “wedding,” which is possibly the least appropriate venue in which to play that song? I could have just as easily thought, man, I can’t wait to play that at my birthday party this year, or it’d be so hilarious to listen to that song while working out, and by hilarious I mean awesome. At least those options would be a bit more feasible than a wedding (especially considering “Pour Some Sugar On Me” is usually reserved for college bars and strip clubs where underage women get sassy “in the name of love,” if you know what I mean).

Even though weddings are perhaps the paragon of things we do “in the name of love,” I’m confident my mother would have a conniption fit if I told her I wanted Def Leppard on my playlist. This got me thinking. If I were able to musically score my own wedding without social and moral repercussions, what songs would I choose? And so I was inspired to jot down all the songs I’d play at my nuptials if no one was attending but myself. Behold: my socially unacceptable wedding soundtrack.

The song I would walk down the aisle to, backlit by a spotlight and surrounded by fog: “Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard — obviously.

The song my wedding party would enter the reception to: “P.Y.T.” by Michael Jackson.

The song my husband and I would enter the reception to: “You Make My Dreams Come True” by Hall and Oates.

Our first dance, which would require a costume change, a chair, and a ballet barre prop: “Love Sex Magic” by Ciara ft. Justin Timberlake.

The teen idol song my father and I would dance to: “As Long As You Love Me” by Backstreet Boys.

The teen idol song the groom and his mother would dance to: “Favorite Girl” by Justin Bieber.

The song during which my husband would go garter-diving: “That’s My B*tch” by Jay-Z and Kanye West.

The song during which I would toss my bouquet and secretly laugh at my single friends: “He Loves Me He Loves You Not” by Dream.

The last dance, choreographed by Kenny Ortega, which the everyone would partake in: “We’re All In This Together” by High School Musical Soundtrack.

How amazing would that wedding be? If only. TC mark

image – Shutterstock

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  • Jackie Faith

    I’m so happy to learn that someone else feels the same way I do about “Pour Some Sugar On Me”.

    • http://twitter.com/Kaagers Katerina

      We are small in numbers but strong in heart!

    • Brandon h

      I think “Cherry Pie” by Warrant would be better. 

  • http://twitter.com/jemmehlee ~ JAMIE (//∇//)

    Your wedding, your money. Do what you want. I’m so tired of hearing the same shit at every wedding. 

  • JH

    Oh man, you are NOT alone. The only things I care about for my wedding are my dress, my guest list, and most importantly my music but my tastes are different than everyone who would be there :(

    I love your wedding march. Go for it! Just…don’t get married in a place of worship. 

  • ne

    this is highly amusing. love.

  • Anonymous

    I tried to make “Lick it up” by KISS my high school’s prom theme, to no avail, unfortunately.

  • Ellen Margaret

    This is awesome.

  • http://www.facebook.com/robbykingsf Robby King

    They played Sublime’s “Date Rape” at my prom during the 15 minutes I was there. 

  • Tracey

    You have possibly the worst taste in music I have ever come across on the world wide web.

  • Art

    after that Chris Brown “Forever” stunt went viral, I’m tempted to say social acceptability in regards to wedding soundtracks kinda went out the window. this entire soundtrack could actually fly.

  • Justin

    I was lucky enough to have complete control over my wedding reception playlist, which resulted in us dancing to Depeche Mode for our ‘first dance as husband & wife’. Other artists we played at the reception: Marilyn Manson, N’Sync, Rufus Wainwright, the Vaselines, and Angelo Badalamenti’s music from Twin Peaks. It was the best wedding soundtrack ever.

    • Ilostmyscarf

      loving the twin peaks especially! i’d pretend to be bob on the dance floor… or in the corner behind some chairs.

  • http://lionhairedgirl.wordpress.com/ Lion

    Thank you times a million for reminding me of “He Loves U Not” and how it was THE BEST SONG EVER WRITTEN for like a good 5 months of my 4th grade life.

  • Shatha H.

    I need an invitation, with an open date :)

    That was really awesome

  • K. Diddi

    This would be a wedding worth attending…for my first dance I’ve decided it’s going be “I touch myself” by the Divinyls, and Ill invite anyone else who can.relate to join us on the dancefloor

  • Eric

    Brick by Ben Folds Five would be your future husbands choice if you make him listen to that music.

    • http://twitter.com/Soundtrack2IDo Colleen

      Ouch!! That’s harsh. Funny, but harsh.

  • http://twitter.com/Soundtrack2IDo Colleen

    Ha! I’ve actually been to numerous weddings that played Pour Some Sugar On Me. :P Awesome post!

  • Alexa

    haha this is amazing; definitely inspired to make my own list like this :p

  • http://hiphoppresident.wordpress.com DopeChic (Band)

    Reblogged this on HipHop President and commented:
    Add #SkDress The Movie Soundtrack to this list!

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