All The Boys Who Didn’t Like Me, A List

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok.

  1. Chris – Lectured me about the importance of work-life balance. Told me he could not stick around for dinner because he needed to get back to the office. At 8pm. On a Friday.
  2. Glen – Liked me, but only between the hours of 1AM and 6AM.
  3. Aaron – Made me clams, then he realized he knew my landlord.
  4. Eric – Liked me until he remembered, “August is a busy month.”
  5. Mike – Drove from out of state to take me to dinner. Told me he would like to see me again. He did not want to see me again.
  6. Zachary – Liked trees more than he liked me.
  7. Daniel – Bought us more Old Fashioneds than advisable for a Tuesday. Bit me (not in a sexy way). We occasionally run into each other at parties and chat about David Foster Wallace.
  8. Jeremy – Liked me, until he realized he “wasn’t into dating.”
  9. Ralph – I gave him bad advice on the Fourth of July. He texted me a picture of a Vespa.
  10. Dave – Liked me until he spent a long weekend in Vermont. Told me he planned to keep the scarf I lent him. Sent me an email four months later to let me know the scarf is doing well. TC mark

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