Do you ever get to the point in a relationship where you feel like you’re both just taking care of yourselves all the time? You’re seeking advice and happiness from others and he’s seeking it in running his errands?
There’s space, and there’s distance. Make sure you know where that line and turning point is. Space is healthy and beneficial to a relationship. Do you; don’t lose your individuality — but don’t forget you’re not just an individual anymore. You’re part of a couple. You get the best of both worlds if you’re in a healthy, mature relationship.
However, space is no excuse for not caring about the maintenance of your partner.
Now, there’s a negative connotation with being “high maintenance” and honestly, I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. It just takes an extraordinary person to maintain them. So it’s not bad, just different. And for those that don’t fall under that label, it doesn’t mean that they don’t need maintenance at all.
Maintenance, to my understanding, is when a partner is selflessly caring for their significant other (and vice versa) — remembering what they need, what makes them happy…and DOING it. The only difference is the degree of maintenance a person needs. It doesn’t mean you have to be doing something big every day or even every month. It’s all about keeping the romance alive, not just in the areas of skin-ship and intimacy. They can take the form of little surprises, and as cliché as this phrase is, it is truly all about “the little things”.
Be creative. Keep things fresh. There are a billion and one things out there to do, to learn to do. There are no excuses to be bored in your relationship or to fall under a monotonous routine, other than laziness and a closed minded mentality!
Maintenance doesn’t require an incredible amount of effort — a post-it note, a random text that reminds them you’re there for them, getting them a little bouncy ball from a 50 cent machine, a backrub, a random hug, a picture of a cute puppy they want in the future, even a personal Snapchat — those are things that show your partner you’re thinking about them, even when you’re off doing your own thing. All basically priceless and it shows you care.
It’s only when we feel like we’re lacking in something that we become overly high maintenance and needy. If you take the time to maintain the relationship as it goes along, it’ll be smoother and less stressful. You’ll both be happier because you have an understanding of what you both want and need, and are willing to do that for each other. If you don’t maintain it as the relationship goes, you’ll end up trying to fix it or scrambling to do those things when it’s already hit rock bottom. By then, it could be too late. And usually, the fixes are temporary until the next blow up. If you do it along the way, it becomes a wonderful habit.
Listen to your partner. Understand their needs. Be willing to mutually respect them, and try your best to fulfill their needs in your own, unique way. And remember, even if you’re not high maintenance, you deserve and need maintenance just like everybody else does.