To The Girl Who Wants The Love She Knows He Cannot Give Her

He’s tainted your existence for too long. He’s filled your days with mistrust, confusion and feelings of inadequacy. You’ve been crying over, forgiving and exhausting yourself with this guy. Although you want him to so desperately, he will never love you the way you want or need to be loved.

He’s not a good guy. Maybe he was once, or maybe he wasn’t but you wished so hard that the falsity became a truth. He doesn’t appreciate you. He doesn’t act in your best interest. He doesn’t treat you like the priority you deserve to be. What you share is the furthest thing from a healthy, mutually beneficial bond. You may be blind to it, but your relationship’s skewed nature is perfectly clear to outsiders looking in.

I’m sure there were good times – times when you laughed to tears or seemed to understand each other so intensely. But scatter the bits of your relationship on the floor and you’ll see – your entire history is an uncertain, rocky ride riddled with occasional smiles. It’s not a sunny, completed puzzle but rather a dark picture with huge, glaring holes distorting the entire image.

He doesn’t deserve your love and your trust and your time. And – most importantly – he’s not going to change. He is not going to magically transform into this beautiful person who appreciates you, acts in your best interest or treats you as a priority. Continue to wish and you’ll only be wasting your time. You’ll set yourself up to face the exact same problems, the exact same heartache over and over and over again.

He’s wronged you – publicly disrespected you, made you look foolish in front of friends and family. He’s hidden things from you; you’ve caught him squirming in the tangled webs he weaves so regularly. And yet, time and time again you come to his defense, voicing the excuse he has delicately spoon fed to you: “He does it to protect my feelings,” you say.

In actuality, he’s lying to you so he can have as many options as possible. He’s lying to you so that he can explore, keep his eyes out for something better, but keep you waiting to serve him as he needs. He’s playing the game like a champion because you’re making it so easy for him to win.

Amongst his other flaws is his inconsistency with nice gestures. He’s sweet for a time and then turns back to his distant, uncaring self. His behavior toward you mimics the tides, changing like the phases of the moon. Please wake up and see that as the huge, billowing red flag that it is.

I know you don’t think you can or will – but you will find someone else. You’ll find someone who treats you as a priority and appreciates the little things – the big things. It’s not too late. Cut loose; wake up from this spell he’s set upon you. If you don’t – if you continue to let denial stand in your way – you’ll be stuck wishing and unsatisfied forever. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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